Love Bites
by Zydrate Anatomy
Summary: ... are not okay when they're from Remus Lupin on the night of the full moon. Lydia would have liked to have known that before she decided to follow her boyfriend to the Shrieking Shack. Remus/OC, reated M for later chapters
1. There Have Been Better Ideas

Heya guys! This story was originally published on my hpff account over a year and a half ago, but it's been almost a year since I last wrote a chapter for it. If I can get enough enthusiasm up with the chapters that I have written (1-10), then I'll pick it up again :) Please R&R and don't be afraid too point out typos and things you think I could improve!

- Jess

DISCLAIMER: I think if I actually owned Harry Potter I would be publishing this in a way I might actually get some money for it, don't you?

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The rays of dying sunlight cast soft blurs of shadow over everything, bathing the couple on the balcony in golden light. Remus Lupin wrapped his fingers around Lydia's considerably smaller ones and puller her closer to him until they were forehead to forehead, strands of sandy brown hair entwined in strands of red. He smiled breezily at her, losing himself in her pale blue eyes, and she coyly returned it, her lips curving up in what Remus thought was the most heavenly of expressions. A slight blush of happiness crept up her cheeks, colouring them pale pink and warming Remus' heart.

"I love you," he told her as he leant in to kiss her. Their lips brushed and slid apart and she giggled with a tinge of embarrassment. Remus put a hand behind her head and held her close to him, kissing her deeply, but with reservation, as though he was being careful not to break her.

She smiled again into his lips contentedly, and kissed him back. "I love you too, Rem."

After a moment, he pulled away, disentangling his hand from her auburn hair and getting up to leave. He did not look her in the eye as he spoke. "I have to go,"

Lydia's brow knotted. "What's wrong? I thought-"

"No, no, it's nothing, I just have to go. Sorry, Lydia; I'll see you in the morning, 'kay?" He gave her an apologetic smile, and pecked her cheek once more before letting go of her hand and slipping away, leaving Lydia sitting on the balcony alone with the cool stone rail chilling her even through the denim of her jeans. She sighed and bit her lip, wishing that her boyfriend didn't have secrets from her.

It was darker now, and the sun was just a sliver of orange cresting the horizon. At least they'd had_ this_ small bit of romance before he had run away again, and the sunset had been particularly beautiful that night, sitting with Remus and just feeling _happy_, for once. It was a miracle he'd even _noticed_ her at all, but that they were together like this was... well, she could scarcely believe it herself.

_Me and _Remus Lupin_, who would've thought it?_ She smiled again, flexing the hand that he had been holding and relishing his touch.

Out of nowhere, a movement snatched her attention and she squinted at the grounds laid out below. There were four small shapes hurrying across the grounds, two very tall, one short and another somewhere between. Years of watching and admiring from the shadows left Lydia in no doubt as to whom these people were- Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter and her boyfriend, Remus Lupin. Almost immediately the bitter taste of suspicion rose in her throat, and she got to her feet. What was Remus doing with them? He'd said he had to do something important.

_Was he just trying to get rid of me so he could mess around with the Marauders?_

She shook her head to dismiss the thought. Remus wouldn't, he loved her- he'd even _said _so. It had to be a stupid mistake, she was being ridiculous. She'd find him in the morning and they could laugh about her paranoia together.

Still the curiosity nagged, and she kept watching and wondering. Where were they going? Not towards the forest, that'd be stupid a this time of night, but where else could it be? The group approached the Whomping Willow and Lydia watched with wide eyes as Peter shook like a leaf in the wind before shrinking to nothing. The group did not react, but Lydia was shocked enough for all of them, her knuckles turning bone white as she clenched her hands. Then, one by one, the Marauders slipped through the knot of gnarled roots at the foot of the tree and disappeared.

_Enough is enough_, thought Lydia, and ran back into the castle and down the stairs, praying that she was not met by a prefect or a teacher so close to the curfew.

She stopped on the fourth floor in front of a large, old mirror. For a moment she stared at her only reflection with her conviction wavering, and then she shook her wand from its resting place I her sleeve, gripping the willow tight. "_Patefacite!_" She commanded, and her reflection dissolved, revealing a large passage beyond, build carefully in the stone wall. She wasted no more time on indecision, and hurried forward until she was outside, hoping that Remus would not regret showing her the way beforehand. She could see the Willow tree from there, in the distance, and so she made a beeline towards it, kicking up dew from the soft grass with every step. Finally, she reached the great tree, which looked orange in the half-light, and it swiped at her. She ducked easily, but it soon pulled her feet out from beneath her. Her head hit the ground hard, and she groaned. But when she looked, she saw that she was lying right next to a gaping hole in the ground, which had the have been where the boys had gone. She felt around the rim, then pulled herself down, narrowly avoided another branch. She fell on her back onto hard-packed dirt with a _thump_.

There were voices up ahead, so Lydia hurried towards them, taking care not to make a noise with her feet. The voices were unmistakable, and Lydia knew she hadn't been wrong. The Marauders were talking about something or other, but she could not hear Remus' voice with them. She kept going, driven by curiosity.

She soon came to an opening, a trap door of sorts, though it felt like she was approaching it from the wrong side. Though it, she could see the wooden walls of a house and could hear the Marauders talking. She clambered up, and perched on the edge for a moment, listening as she caught her breath.

"-be fine, Pete. C'mon, stop worrying."

James' voice, with a rare hint of compassion. Strange.

"I know, I know. How long's he got?" Peter answered, and Lydia shuddered slightly. The boy was a creep, she had no idea what Remus was doing friends with him. Lydia had tried to have patience with him before and be kind (since no one else was), but after the way he had interpreted that kindness and what he had tried to do she wanted nothing to do with him.

There was a rustle of movement, someone walking across the creaking floorboards. Sirius spoke next:

"About four minutes; the sun's almost down."

What on earth were they talking about? What did _the sun_ matter to anything? How long did _who_ have? Lydia swivelled round, got up, and peered round the door. In the next room, James and Peter were lounging around on chairs, and Sirius was standing next to the window. They were all taught as wires, tense and bristling with apprehension. Sirius looked up in her direction for a moment, but she twisted out of sight before he saw her.

"Alright, Moony?" She heard him shout, and the familiar nickname brought her a pang of hope. No idea what it was supposed to _mean_ of course, but she had heard him called it hundreds of times, and loved watching him cringe.

A feeble reply came back from above her, on what must be the second floor, and her heart leapt. "I'm fine,"

He did not sound fine. Lydia frowned- he had been perfectly okay when they were together, not even fifteen minutes before- what had changed that? She cast her eyes around for a flight of stairs and tip-toed up them, grimacing with every creak. Luckily for her, no one noticed, and soon she was on another floor. It was dank and dingy- worse than the lower- and there were strange marks everywhere.

_What is this place?_ She wondered, not really knowing if she would ever get an answer.

A door was ajar in front of her, and she could hear Remus breathing heavily inside. With a grim smile, she opened the door and stepped inside. "Remus?"

His eyes flew open to look at her, and his breath caught. "Lydia? Why- what are you- _you can't be here!_"

She took a step back. "What's wrong? I just came to find you," She surveyed him quietly, all too aware that there was something desperately wrong with this scene. Remus was sitting with his back against an old bed, with his knees drawn up to his chest. He was shivering all over, and his breathing was harsh and ragged. The window was open, and the light of the moon filtered into the room, bathing them both in silver. It lit Remus' eyes and instead of their usual gold, they were a poisonous yellow colour. They bored into her, almost _hungrily_. "I was worried about you Remus- you're so secretive. What _is_ this anyway?"

He started to speak, then grimaced and hunched over, digging his nails into the floor boards and moving his legs spasmodically.

"Remus, your _hands_," she started, transfixed as the nails lengthened and became sharp.

"You have to _GO!_" He yelled hoarsely, squeezing his eyes shut and turning away. Lydia heard hurried footsteps on the stairs, and spun around to see James, Sirius and Peter framed in the doorway.

"Lydia! You have to go!" James' voice was incredulous and full of urgency as he grabbed her wrist and made to lead her away and she would have let him, had Remus not screamed so mournfully at that moment. She jerked away from his grasp and turned back to her boyfriend. He was on his hands and knees, his fists clenched and his teeth gritted- teeth which were inhumanly sharp and protruded obscenely over his lower lip. Fangs, like an animal.

"_WHAT IS THIS?_" She yelled, pushing James away and fighting the urge to hit something, as though it would give her peace of mind. "_Why will no one tell me anything?_"

James shot a worried look at his friends, his eyes lingering on Remus almost clinically. Peter looked helpless and Sirius nodded grimly. She would not look at Remus- she could hear his pain enough that it made her want to scream herself.

"He's a werewolf. _Don't_ ask questions; there isn't time. You need to go." James took her arm again, this time with a firmer grip and started to pull her away when Sirius cried out.

"Prongs- watch it!"

James spun and pushed Lydia like a doll into Sirius' arms, who caught her and then roughly pushed her away again. James dodged as a monstrous thing lunged towards him, slavering with bloodlust and its yellow eyes gleaming.

_Remus_, she thought, numb with cold understanding.

"Go!" Sirius snarled ferally, then shifted before her into a huge, shaggy, black dog and leapt forwards, crashing into the wolf creature that had once been Remus. They dropped to the floor, snapping and snarling viciously.

"Don't hurt him!" She shouted, rushing forwards against all of her instincts. She had no idea _what_ she intended to do, but something had to be better than just standing there, watching her boyfriend be torn to pieces.

"Get OUT!" James yelled again, and he shifted too, this time into a stag. He bowed his head and charged at the tussling creatures with his antlers bared. Lydia could imagine them piercing Remus' flesh all too easily, and the thought made her want to throw up. She was frozen to the spot, wavering between 'fight' or 'flight' reflexes, and that was when the beast saw her.

The wolf shoved off his smaller attackers, and scrambled away, falling into a loping run straight at her. Lydia obeyed her instincts for once, and threw herself to the side. The wolf missed her narrowly, and crashed into the wooden stair guard. It shook his head as though to clear it, barely meters from her, and she tried not to make a sound, though she doubted it would help. Quicker than she expected, its eyes refocused and found her again. In a single bound it was on her, sharp claws piercing her flesh like knives. With almost slow deliberation, it inclined its head and sunk its fangs into the skin of her shoulder. Pain screamed through her body as its grip tightened, spreading, infecting and she bucked under the taught muscular frame, crying out in agony. She felt dizzy with pain, and the world faded to a haze of colours.

Then, suddenly, the crushing weight was gone, and she could breathe again. The pain had not abated, not in the slightest, but at least the wolf was no longer there. She could hear the sounds of it fighting again, probably with Sirius, but she didn't really care. She was overwhelmed by the sickly sweet feeling of lethargy, and wanted nothing more than to sink into the release of sleep, but she couldn't. The pain kept her conscious, aware, lying on her back in smatterings of her own blood in the wreck that her boyfriend had created, the liar. He had never even _told_ her, not mentioned it! He'd said he loved her, but it had to have been a lie because when you love someone you don't keep secrets, you don't hide. Too late for that now, she'd probably die anyway.

The world was changing- colours and shapes were brighter, sharper. It was as though someone had gone round and wiped a layer of dust off everything, so that Lydia could see it with clarity for the first time. Perhaps this was dying; perhaps she was going to a higher level somehow, where everything was different. Or, perhaps, this was a small compensation before she blinked out of existence. But Lydia didn't know, and she really did not care. With the new senses, the pain became more exquisite; it was no longer a dull throb, but something cruel and clear, that set each individual nerve ending on fire, spreading further and further through her body with every heartbeat. She couldn't have long left- there was no way her body would tolerate this torment for much longer. _Thank God_.

Gradually, the pain started to fade. Was _this_ death, finally? If it was, she was going to welcome it open armed- that would be easier than facing the future. The future was frightening, and she was better off without it.

A voice broke through her reverie, drawing her away from her dark thoughts. "Lydia? Are you... okay?"

It was James. She opened her eyes grudgingly, wincing at the sunlight, and groaned. "Peachy," She said, with as much sarcasm as she could muster. He smiled shakily, glad just for a response, and started to pick her up. _Wow, he's strong_, she thought absently, not really caring.

"How's Remus? Is he okay?" Each word took painstaking effort, and when she was done she felt as though she would never want to speak again.

"He's fine. No worse than usual, just worried." James said, taking a few steps down the stairs. "We need to get you to the hospital wing though- you've lost a lot of blood."

She nodded, and closed her eyes again. The blood loss was obvious, but she really didn't want to think about it. Lying in James' arms, feeling the steady motion of his footsteps through her whole body, unconsciousness finally came and enveloped her in nothingness. She smiled into oblivion, and let it take her.


	2. Recovery

The lights of the hospital wing burned white shapes into Lydia's retinas from the second she opened them, and the starched bed sheets scratched her skin. There was a bandage on her shoulder that irritated a wound, but she had no idea how she had gotten it, or why she was there. All that was in her memory was pain.

"Lydia?" That was her name, wasn't it? Who was calling her, though? She recognised the voice, but her memories were too hazy for coherent thought. "Are you awake?"

She moaned, and forced herself to open her eyes into the blinding light again. "Yes," Her voice was little more than a croak, but it seemed to get the point across. She rolled onto her side, and saw that the hangings were drawn away from her bed, and that Remus was propped up against his cushions on the bed next to her. He looked awful- cuts and bruises everywhere that she could see, and with larger bandages over the things she couldn't- but he looked more worried about her. Typical Remus, never thinking for himself. "What happened?"

He paled even further (which she wouldn't have thought was possible), and gulped very obviously, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down in his throat. The movement was quite cute, and she would have laughed if she wasn't sure it would hurt so damn much.

"You don't remember?"

She shook her head. "Not a thing,"

"Oh." He averted his eyes, and squeezed handfuls of the sheets as though they had done him a personal wrong. "Well... what _do_ you remember?"

She thought for a moment, pushing through the haze surrounding her memories. "You disappeared off with James and that lot and... I think I followed you?"

He nodded, and closed his eyes. "Yeah, you did. And you found us and, well, I don't know how to tell you this, but- and you need to understand that we all did everything we could to stop... it... from hurting you- I... attacked you. I'm so sorry."

She gasped, and scrambled back as far as her protesting muscles would allow it. "_What?_ Why?"

Remus put on an expression as though he was in pain, tightening his grip on the sheets. "I couldn't help it. I... wasn't in control of myself. I'm sorry, Lydia, I am _so_ sorry- I'm a werewolf. I... I bit you last night. I am so, _so_ sorry." He rolled on his side and turned away from her incredulous gaze. "I'll understand if you never want to see me again."

Lydia blinked, and shook herself but the scene did not dissolve like a dream would. She timidly ran her hand over the bandage on her shoulder, holding out against the pain she received from the pressure. As carefully as she could with her hands shaking as much as they were, she slid her fingers under an opening, feeling the deep wounds that were already healing concealed underneath. When she withdrew, her fingers were bloody.

"Will I change?" She said, never taking her eyes off her stained fingers. "Will I become a werewolf too?"

"I'm so sorry," Remus repeated again, then jumped out of his bed and hurried away, limping, whilst Madame Pomfrey was preoccupied with another patient. She looked up when the door banged behind him, took a look at his empty bed and Lydia, still staring at her bloody hand, and sighed. She flicked her wand hastily, repairing two broken fingers like it was nothing, and gathered up some potions and ointments for her other patient. She trundled over to Lydia, and dumped the collection on her bedside table, fourteen bottles and tubs in all. In an afterthought, she drew the hangings around Lydia's bed to afford them some privacy, and then smiled warmly at Lydia.

"Oh good, you're finally awake dear. I was beginning to wonder if you'd miss Christmas!" She joked, and Lydia smiled weakly, her eyes round and sad.

"How long have I been here?" She asked quietly, wiping the blood off on her covers.

"Oh, you've got me there, my dear." Madame Pomfrey looked thoughtful for a moment, then took one of the bottles and began to loosen the cap. "A little under two weeks, I think."

"_Two weeks!_" Lydia repeated incredulously and tried to sit up, but Madame Pomfrey held her down.

"You're not going anywhere yet, missy, not until we've got some of these potions down you. Did Mr. Lupin speak to you?"

Lydia hung her head shamefully. "He ran off, but he told me what happened." She paused; not wanting to voice the horrible truth. "And he told me that I'm a werewolf now, too."

Madame Pomfrey nodded sympathetically, and patted Lydia on her good shoulder. "I'm afraid so, dear. I am sorry."

"What do I _do_?" She asked, desperately, wonder what she meant exactly. The future was now so uncertain; she had no idea what she was going to do about anything. What could she do? Nothing would change the fact of what she was.

"Well, first, you can drink this," Madame Pomfrey handed her a cup filled with an oddly pleasant smelling liquid that set Lydia's nerves on edge, which she swallowed quickly without thinking about the taste. "Very good. Now, we have a procedure in place for these things, and have done for the past five years. It's quite simple."

Madame Pomfrey paused, considered the array of potions, then took another and poured it into the glass as Lydia held it out to her. "For the few days before a full moon, you should come to me for pain-relief potions and they should keep you up and about. On the day itself, come down about half and hour before sunset and I shall take Mr. Lupin and yourself out to the grounds. I take it you saw the passage though the Whomping Willow? I will stop the tree's movement to allow the two of you to enter, and then you follow through the passage to the Shrieking Shack. You will both spend the night there, and then I will come for you some time after sunrise. I'll bring you both back to school, treat wounds that need treating and probably keep you in over night for recovery. Then you go back to lessons the next day and we do it all again in a month's time!"

Lydia gulped another cupful of potion. "And Remus has been doing this for how long?"

Madame Pomfrey shook her head, looking down at the floor sadly. "That's his story to tell and not mine, dear. You must talk to him yourself."

Lydia frowned. "I don't think he'll want to see me."

"The poor boy is angry and doesn't know what to do with himself, but that is not because he is angry with you. He blames himself. He always has done."

"But it was my fault. If I had just _trusted_ him, this would never have happened." Madame Pomfrey leant over Lydia and pulled down her bandage, brandishing a pot of what looked like congealed phlegm. Lydia tried not to look at it.

"Be that as it may, you would do better not to dwell on it. There is no point worrying about something that you cannot change."

_I can't help it,_ she thought as she relaxed her shoulder to let the matron rub in the ointment, which was slick and cool against her skin. She let her head loll back against the pillow and found the she was staring at a rather large collection of cards at her bedside. "Who are these from?" She asked, eager to change the subject.

The matron chuckled. "I think that Mr. Black, Mr. Potter and Mr. Pettigrew were trying to see how high they could get the pile before you woke up. They've done similar things for Mr. Lupin in the past."

At the mention of the Marauders, another memory unfolded in Lydia's mind: Sirius, yelling for her to get away from the Remus-werewolf, morphing smoothly into an enormous black dog with glowing eyes, and James, too, changing into a stag as easily as he would change clothes, charging at the wolf with his antlers. She glanced up at Madame Pomfrey, wondering how much she knew, but decided not to say anything about the two animagi.

There was silence, broken only by the squelch of ointment as Madame Pomfrey applied yet another kind to Lydia's skin, but it was not uncomfortable. After a few minutes, Lydia gave in to her desire to leave.

"When can I go? I mean, I'm awake now, I'm okay..." She raised her eyebrows and smiled, trying to look the picture of innocence.

Madame Pomfrey smiled ruefully at her patient. "I have one more salve to put on, and then you can take a pill before you leave." She grabbed a tube, and squeezed a blob of off-white goo onto her finger. "This will probably sting a bit, dear."

Lydia nodded, grinning like a Cheshire cat, and braced herself. The cream stung a bit, but then the effects subsided, and she dry-swallowed the pill that Madame Pomfrey gave to her then leapt out of bed with an unexpected energy. "Thank you!" She called to the nurse, and went back to Ravenclaw tower with an odd spring in her step.

"Hey, you're back,"

Lydia smiled at her roommate and went to sit down on her bed. "Yeah. How's... stuff?" She finished, gesturing around her. Nessa shrugged, chewing the inside of her lip.

"It's fine. Nothing much's happened since you went off to Mungo's. What happened, anyway? Pomfrey said something about hitting your head or something..." She trailed off, propping her head up on her had and looking bored out of her mind. Not that Lydia was particularly surprised- she and Nessa had been sharing since they had started, just the two of them in Ravenclaw that year, and they had never been very close. Lydia guessed that Nessa just wanted a little gossip for the Gryffindors.

Silently, Lydia thanked Madame Pomfrey for doing the groundwork for her story. "I fell down the stairs after Remus and I went up to Astronomy tower and, yeah, I hit my head kinda hard on the stone. The Healers fixed me right up, though." She tapped her head to emphasise the point, only wincing slightly when the movement pulled at her half-healed scars.

Nessa nodded, satisfied but a little disappointed. She rolled away from Lydia, lying on her side and reading a book. Lydia sat on her bed for a while, staring blindly at the wall and listening to the sound of the pages turning every few minutes. Her cream walls were totally bare, simply because she had never been able to decide what to put on them, however she had an idea now of something that would be absolutely necessary- a lunar calendar. _I could hang it next to my bed_, she thought blandly, _that way I won't forget or get caught unawares. _

After another minute or two, she got up, smoothing down the blue shirt that she guessed Madame Pomfrey must have put on he whilst she was unconscious. It was passable. She got to the door, then called to Nessa with one hand on the frame.

"I'm going to go see Remus, 'kay?"

Nessa shrugged. "Sure. Whatever."

"Bye," She muttered, closing the door gently so that it wouldn't bang. She picked at the folds of blue material again when she was outside, then sighed to herself. It would do.

Walking resolutely towards the Gryffindor common room, she couldn't help but wonder what she was going to say to Remus, or his friends for that matter. _I guess I should thank them,_ she mused, _they _did_ save my life._ But how could she talk to Remus? _Did_ she blame him, now that was the question. If he'd told her, then she wouldn't have followed him, he wouldn't have bitten her and she wouldn't be a werewolf at all. But could she have asked for anything more? She didn't want to think about telling anyone about _her_ now, considering the huge stigma in the wizarding world against werewolves, so what right did she have to expect him to? They had been going out only a few months- he probably wasn't sure whether he could trust her with such a big secret.

That idea hurt, thinking that Remus didn't trust her the way she had thought she trusted him. He loved her, yes, but she would much rather they were only friends and they could tell each other anything and everything.

And, worse, did she forgive him for what he had done to her? Sure, it had been an accident and he hadn't been in control of his actins but the facts still stood that in little over two weeks she would be forced to become a monster. She shuddered, recalling how Remus had screamed as he changed and the horrible transformation that he had undergone. That would be _her _next full moon, too. She glanced down at her hands, trying to imagine what it would feel like for them to grow and sharpen, but could not. Later, she realised that she didn't want to.

The portrait of the Fat Lady loomed towards her, and she wet her dry lips.

"Password?" The portrait demanded, bored.

It was already on the tip of her tongue. "_Aconitum_," She replied, then waited for the painting to swing aside and allow her passage.

"No, that's not it I'm afraid." The portrait told her emotionlessly, tweaking an acrylic curtain hanging behind her.

Lydia furrowed her brow. "Has it changed, then?"

The lady nodded. "Last week dear. Do keep up."

"Great." Lydia muttered as she turned to walk back to her own common room, but as she did so she heard the frame creak open without a word. She spun around and found herself almost nose-to-nose with Sirius Black, the rest of the Marauders framed in the passageway behind him.

"Lydia!" Sirius exclaimed, and behind him Remus' eyes widened and he moved in place, as though struggling to get away but he was hemmed in by his friends and the walls.

"I just want to talk, Rem." She said, trying vainly to make eye contact. "Please don't go."

"What's there to talk about, Lydia? I made you a monster; you should stay away before I take your life as well as your humanity." He looked up at her with fierce eyes, but that front was broken by the guilt that filled them and the way that his voice wavered as he spoke.

"I don't believe that. Please, just talk to me." She bit her lip and challenged his gaze unblinkingly. He looked down.

"Okay, fine. Guys, do you...?" The question trailed off, and Remus looked despairingly from friend to friend. Sirius pushed him forward, and move out of the way of the portrait hole. James patted him on the back and smiled encouragingly.

"Good luck mate," He offered, and then he, Sirius and Peter strutted off to wherever they had been going before Lydia stopped them.

Looking small and defeated, Remus hunched his shoulders and held open the portrait's frame for Lydia to go past, ever the gentleman. "C'mon, then. We can talk upstairs."

Immediately, she clambered up through the hole, her hand lingering for a moment on Remus' outstretched arm as she passed. Their eyes connected, and for a moment it was as if someone had erased the last two weeks.

Then she let go, and the cold void between them returned, as though it had never left.


	3. The Art of Conversation

Heya guys! I know it's taken me forever to update- I've had some uploading issues- but I have up to chapter 11 ready, so it'll be a double update this time and then once a week from then on :D I would love it if you could leave reviews- there are a lot more people who've put this on their favourites and alert than reviewed! Anyways, here it is

When they reached the empty Fifth Year dormitory, Lydia perched on the edge of the bed closest to her. Judging by all the Quidditch posters and suchlike, this bed belonged to James. Remus stayed standing, his arms crossed over himself almost defensively, as though he was expected for Lydia to attack him. His golden eyes were guarded, unsure, and it made Lydia's heart ache to think of what must be going trough his mind.

A moment passed, layered with tension, until Remus broke the silence.

"You wanted to talk, so talk."

Lydia sighed, feeling more stupid by the second. "I just don't know how to start. I... I guess, I don't blame you for what you did. It wasn't your fault."

Remus scoffed, sneering hatefully at his crossed arms. Lydia got to her feet. "No, it wasn't! You had no control, I know that, and you told me to go! You tried to keep me safe; it's _my_ fault that I didn't listen."

Remus looked up at her, his eyes glistening. "You just don't get it, do you? I should _never_ have gotten close to you- it was wrong. Something like this... well, it was always going to happen, and yes, that is _entirely_ my fault."

"So what are you saying? That you're not allowed to have relationships, to fall in love? That's ridiculous, Remus, can you not see that? This is part of what you are, what _we_ are, but it isn't everything. It can't be. There _has_ to be something else, or we'd all end up insane."

Remus nodded resolutely. "You're right. Except, most of them don't care, they _want_ to bite others, and if that isn't insane, I have no idea what is." Remus pushed back his hair with his hand, letting his fingers stay tangled in it. "I just didn't want to damn anyone else."

Lydia took a step forward, and wound her arms around his waist. Remus stiffened, his eyes closed and bottom lip trembling. "I wanted to be with you, and now I can be. I don't feel 'damned'."

Staying rigid, Remus replied. "Wait until full moon, and then you can see if you feel as forgiving when you've been through a change."

"Are they painful?" She asked, into his unresponsive chest. She could tell he wanted her to let go, but she wanted to drive away some of the loneliness in his eyes.

"The worst."

There was another silence, and Lydia finally let go of Remus. She sat back on James' bed, and beckoned to Remus. "Sit down. Please."

He nodded, and sat on his own bed, running a hand through his sandy hair and at last lending Lydia a small smile. "Thank you," He said.

"For what?" She said, inclining her head slightly and her red hair spilling over her shoulder.

"For not holding it against me, for forgiving me. For not hating me." Remus looked her directly in the eye, smiling. "I know that I would have."

"I love you- how could I hate you, Rem?" Lydia reached over, and took his hand. He squeezed hers back. "So... how long have you been... like this?"

The smile dropped off Remus' face as though he had been dowsed in cold water. "Too long. I was seven."

Lydia's eyes widened to saucer-like proportions, and she blinked twice. "That long? But... how did you manage, so young? How did you cope?"

"I didn't. I didn't even realise what I was until I changed, and neither did my parents. I'm muggleborn- we thought I'd been attacked by a dog. But then I transformed a month later, and when I woke up the next morning, I'd killed my mum. My dad's been searching for a cure ever since." Remus shrugged. "I'm almost used to it now, after eight years."

Shocked, but all too aware that any negative reaction on her part would completely invalidate everything she had been trying to say, Lydia nodded. She got up, and went to the window, looking out onto the grounds with her elbows rested on the sill. "I'm sorry I followed you. It was my fault. I should have trusted you."

Remus said nothing, he just sat and drummed his fingers against the insides of his thighs and watched Lydia. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, that he wouldn't ever hurt her like he had again, but he couldn't. He wouldn't lie again. He got up and followed her to the window, threading an arm through her waist. She turned to him, smiling.

"We'll be okay, you know." She said, taking his hand. "You and me. No more secrets, we don't need them anymore. I love you, that has got to be enough."

"It is," he grinned, and whirled her around like they were Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in one of the old movies. He draped her across his arm before he leaned down to kiss her.

Smiling, he lowered her until she was sitting back on James' bed again. He sat beside her, and took her hand in his, entwining her fingers with his. In a fluid movement, he looped his arm and hers connected so that their joined hands rested on her hip, and she was encircled by their arms. She sighed, and tipped her head back against his broad chest. She looked up at him with a smiled question on her lips.

"The others, they know, don't they. About me?"

He nodded, growing a little more solemn. "They were there. It was pretty undeniable."

She nudged him gently with the back of her head. "What was with that, anyway? They're animagi, right?"

"Yeah, they are." He kissed her hair, breathing her soft woody scent. "Smart little cookie, aren't you?"

She shrugged, still smiling. "Ravenclaw, Rem, Ravenclaw. How did they do that though? I mean, becoming an animagus is bloody difficult- it takes years. Why bother in the middle of school?"

Remus shifted, a guilty look crossing his face. "For me. They did it to help me." He sighed. "When I used to transform, I - the wolf is a predator, it needs to _hunt_ and it... it can't so it - well it used me instead. I would... bite and scratch myself, badly. I nearly killed myself a few times as the wolf, but I healed. I still have the scars." He rubbed his wrist absently, hitching up the woolly cloth. "When they found out, they... well, they wanted to help. They tried, for years. They only managed it at Christmas, but they've been helping me. Peter, Peter is a rat, he freezes the tree; Sirius and James are big, so they distract me. Play-fight. We're like, a pack now."

She raised her eyebrows. "Good friends." A moment later, "A pack, huh? Then who's Alpha?"

Remus smiled bashfully, closing his eyes. "I don't remember what happens when I'm transformed, but they reckon it's me." He ruffled her hair. "Guess you'll be my Beta now."

Lydia looked troubled for a moment, chewing the inside of her lip. "You sure they'll help me? Will they be able to handle two... of us? Really?"

"I'll ask them, but I know what they'll say. You don't know them that well, I guess, but Sirius and James will just see this as another challenge."

"And Peter?"

He rolled his eyes. "You know Peter: he'll go along with whatever the rest of us do. Stop worrying; they like you, you know." He smiled ruefully. "Only girl Sirius has ever given his seal of approval for me."

"Doesn't act like it," Lydia grumbled.

"He's just over-protective. May not seem like it, but he's a big softie really." He gave a short chuckle. "And he's a major jazz fan."

Lydia pushed Remus back, raising an eyebrow. "Jazz? _Sirius?_ No way!"

He nodded. "He hides the records under his bed and plays them while the rest of us are out, but I _found_ them."

_Insert maniac laughter here,_ thought Lydia with a smile. "Should we put them out of their misery sometime soon? Stop Siri-wiri worrying over you?"

Remus laughed. "Call him that to his face and I will not be responsible for the consequences, but yes, we probably should. Kitchens it is?" He got to his feet, offering a large and gentle hand for her to grasp.

"If that's where you were going," She said, taking it to pull herself up. He casually draped an arm around her waist like old times, and led her out.

"You two sorted everything out then?" James looked up from his plate of food when Remus and Lydia entered the room, licking his lips and smiling at Remus' answering nod. "Thank the bloody lord," he turned to Remus, brandishing a fork and attempting to look threatening, "because if I had had to put up with you _moping_ for one moment longer, I swear I'd burn your books. This is a promise, Moony-boy."

"James," Remus made his way through the crowd of milling house-elves gingerly, with Lydia following close behind him. "I have only been out of the hospital wing three hours- you have not even scraped the surface of my potential mopery. Also," he leaned close to James until they were almost nose to nose, "you touch my books, _Prongsie-boy_, and I burn your Lily pictures with your broom as fire wood."

James breathed in sharply, narrowing his eyes. "_You wouldn't._"

Sirius sniggered, alerting Lydia to his presence behind her. He was, not particularly surprisingly, chomping his way through a chocolate cake the size of a dustbin lid.

"Don't push me," Remus said, flicking James' nose playfully, "and you'll never have to find out."

With that, he plopped down on the bench next to James, and grabbed a chicken leg from the plate in front of him. With the first squelching bite he took, the pseudo-tension broke.

"Oh shove off, Moony!" James pushed Remus, square in the chest, and the werewolf fell onto the stone floor with a thump. On instinct, he hurled the half-eaten chicken leg at James, which collided with his forehead, leaving a splatter of liquid fat on his skin and hair. Grinning like a maniac, Sirius got up, grabbed a potato salad from the house elf at his ankles and upturned it over Remus' head with a triumphant yell of:

"_FOOD FIGHT!_"

"Oh dear god," Lydia tried to back up, but tripped over a house elf in the process and fell to the floor. She crawled to take refuge under a table, watching disdainfully as three pairs of legs ran about like lunatics and were soon joined by a fourth pair, dipping and dodging the chunks of flying food while the elves rushed everywhere in a frenzy, trying simultaneously to clean up the mess, and cater for the food fighters. It was fully-fledged chaos. "_Boys_," she sighed, crawling deeper into the shadowy darkness of the underside of the long table to wait out the fight.

After a while, shorter, in fact, than Lydia had expected, the fight subsided, and Sirius fell down to the floor, helpless with laughter, and spotted Lydia in her hiding place. She was that his pupils were so wide that almost none of his grey iris was visible. He pointed at her shakily. "Hey, it's Lydia!" Then, needlessly, he added: "She's under the table!"

"Well done, Mr. State-The-Obvious. Was that cake _drugged_ or something?"

Sirius giggled girlishly, as did James. Remus answered for them. "They're on a sugar hype. They made up a spell last year to make it hit their systems harder and make them more hyper- this is the result."

"_They_ made it up, did they, Remmy? You had _nothing_ to do with it?" She said, looking up at him through a gap in the table legs, feeling slightly stupid. He smirked and looked down.

"Well, only a little. I stand by that it was _not my idea_, and hence I am innocent."

Lydia rolled her eyes. "_Boys!_" She repeated under her breath. "Help me up?"

"Sure thing, Lyd." He pulled out a bench and ducked down to take Lydia's outstretched hand. She took his gingerly, because it was slimed with food. "Sorry," he said in answer to her grimace.

When they were standing an Remus had begun to brush himself down (Lydia thought about pointing out that it was a losing battle, but decided not to quash an attempt at tidying), Sirius looked up deliriously at the both of them together.

"Hey!" He exclaimed, looking incredibly pleased with himself. "You're like... Moony and Moonette! Luny! _Lunette!_"

"I'm never going to be able to get rid of the nickname, am I?" Lydia said sideways to Remus, not bothering to lower her voice.

"Never," he agreed laughingly. "You'll get used to it eventually. I did."

"And I take it 'Moony' is about... you know..."

"Yeah, it is. Sirius, again. He thought he was being funny." Remus rolled his eyes at the laughing heap of boy on the floor. "Didn't you, Pads?"

Sirius smiled in a way that was somehow both sweetly innocent, and disturbing. "I am the _master_ cool nicknames! Isn't that right Wormy?"

Peter looked up from where he had been sitting on the other side of the table, meticulously picking food off his robes. He opened his mouth as if to argue, but Remus made throat-slitting motions desperately at him, and he just nodded. "The best, Padfoot."

"Okay, right, so let me get this straight- Padfoot, Moony, Wormy and...?" Lydia turned to Remus with a crooked smile and pointed to each o the marauders in turn. When she reached James, she stopped at let the sentence trail off.

"Prongs. And Peter's is Worm_tail_. But yeah, that's us."

"Okay. Good. _Fine_. So, about how long until they... sober up, as such?"

Remus bit his lip and knotted his brow. "Three or four minutes. They wanted it to be longer, but I do have _some_ conscience."

_Spec-bloody-tacular!_ Lydia thought, but without feeling. In all honestly, the normality (if you could call it that) was calming. Better than Remus' melancholic, end-of-the-world-or-something-like-it talk at least. A thick, but content silence filled the air.

"Oh I'm _bored_ now! Moony, you are such a spoil-sport!" Sirius declared, pulling himself up and crossing his arms over his chest like a sulking child.

"Sugar rush dissipated has it, Pads?"

Sirius pouted, but deigned that it was not necessary to answer. Instead he turned to Lydia, his pupils back to normal size and looking far saner than a few moments ago. "So has Remus been through the agenda with you?" At Lydia's vacant expression, he added: "For full moon."

"Oh. He said that you were a... a _pack_, and you helped him, and that you'd help me too, but other than that... not really."

"You are slacking, Rem. Never thought I'd see the day!" Sirius said over the top of Lydia's head, which she did not appreciate. "It's simple really. You go with Poppers-"

"Madam Pomfrey," Remus explained, shooting Sirius a look.

"-down to the willow, and get to the shack. Wait for us there, and we'll come about 15 minutes before the moon comes up. You'll both transform upstairs, in separate rooms," He said this pointedly to Remus, who nodded as though he had thought about this already. Lydia made a mental note to quiz him about that later. "And then we'll come and find you as our animals, though I doubt you'll remember any of that- Moony never does. In the morning, don't be surprised if we're gone when you wake up, because we have to leave before Poppers gets there."

"Don't you ever get hurt?" Lydia asked concernedly.

Sirius shrugged. "Sometimes, a little. A scratch here, a bite there, but we're alright. Missing lessons one morning a month is hardly a sacrifice!" He joked.

"But surely Madam Pomfrey realises there is something going on though, if you all come to the hospital wing the night after full moon wit that kind of injury?"

"Probably," He agreed, bobbing his head up and down in such a way that his long black hair splayed all across his shoulders. "But she never questions. If she does know, I reckon she's just glad someone decided to _do_ something."

"And so she should be!" James added, finally deigning to participate in the conversation.

"Here, here!" The rest of the marauders echoed in unison. Sirius raised an imaginary glass in toast.

"To the Marauders, and our latest member- welcome to the family, Lunette!"

Lydia smiled, and they all pretended to drink together, while the house elves continued to clean the mess of the abandoned food fight around the three animagi and two werewolves, glad not to be involved in the trivial lives of the humans they served.


	4. A New Moonlight

"Are you ready for this?"

Remus squeezed Lydia's hand gently, and she found that she appreciated the calming skin-on-skin contact. In the back of her mind, she wondered if it would be different if she or Remus were human, but decided it didn't matter. Rather, the thought was engulfed by the tide of worry sloshing around her brain. Her senses were beyond anything she had ever experienced and her muscles felt like they were on a hair-trigger, ready to spring at the slightest sign of danger. The fingers of her free hand twitched across the uneven cloth covering on the Gryffindor common room sofa, catching on each individual thread, or so it felt. She turned towards Remus and forced a smile.

"No, but let's just go."

He kissed her forehead and then they got up to leave. Remus waved a lazy hand at the retreating common room and his three best friends, sitting around a table and playing snap.

Sirius and Peter nodded their heads at the couple in acknowledgement, and James looked at Lydia with a hint of concern. "You'll be fine. We'll see you in, like, three quarters of an hour."

"Thanks, guys. I appreciate you doing this for me, really." Lydia let go of Remus' hand to give James and Sirius each a brief hug, and pecked Peter on the cheek. He blushed a violent shade of red and the other boys burst into fits of laughter, punching him on the shoulder in a boys-trying-and-failing-to-be-men kind of way.

"Don't sweat it, Lunette." Sirius told her, grinning manically. "See you two later."

"Later, Pads."

Remus pushed the portrait hole open for Lydia to climb out, and then the two of them hurried to the hospital wing hand in hand. Madam Pomfrey was waiting for them when they arrived, tapping her foot impatiently.

"I said _half an hour_ early, not fifteen minutes! I expected better, both of you."

Lydia cast her eyes down to the floor guiltily while Remus attempted a hurried placation. "Sorry, Poppy, we lost track of time. Lydia was a little anxious, you know?" He tried to make his eyes wide and trust-worthy, but the effect was somewhat spoilt by their wolfishly yellow colour so close to the transformation. Madam Pomfrey rolled her eyes and sighed, but her expression was relatively good-natured as usual.

"Okay, come on then. Let's get going."

Remus and Lydia followed, still clasping hands tightly. By the time the matron had led them across the grounds as far as the Willow, her knuckles were bone white and Remus was biting his tongue against a pained gasp, which he did not think would be tactful.

"_Immobulus!_" Madam Pomfrey pointed her short pine wand at the thrashing tree, which froze when the spell hit. She ushered the two lycanthropes through the opening, keeping a weather eye on the moon as she did so. She estimated that the change would begin in about seven minutes, and this worried her more than she let on. "Come _on_, you two, no dawdling!"

"We know, we know, we're going." Lydia said with an annoyance not entirely her own. Remus was accustomed enough to pre-transformation tetchiness to know that this was more the moon talking than anything else, and made a quick save.

"If you go back now, Poppy, we'll be alright getting into the shack." Lydia could easily make out, even through the pitch darkness of the tunnel with her senses on such a moon-induced high, Madam Pomfrey's hesitation. "We'll be fine, go back inside and be safe."

She nodded reluctantly and hastily left the tunnel, leaving Remus and Lydia alone. He tugged her along at a running pace. "We don't have much time; we need to get inside _now_."

"I know. I can feel it coming, like sandpaper on my spine."

"Ignore it. That's the 'nice' part."

"Joy," Lydia deadpanned, passing through the open door that Remus pulled her through. She kicked it shut behind her, since that seemed like the right thing to do. "What about James and that?"

"They'll come when they can, but they can't cut it too close with Poppy about. It's probably better you don't have them listening into your first transformation anyway."

She shuddered, both from fear and the oncoming change.

He cocked his head in the direction of the stairs. "Bedrooms are up here, follow me."

She did, and a moment later she walked into a small and dilapidated bedroom, not the same one in which she had encountered Remus the month before. He pointed to an old chest of drawers in the corner. "You should leave your clothes in there if you want them useable in the morning."

Lydia whirled around to face him, her mouth agape. "I'm doing this _naked? With four guys?_"

Remus bit his lip and looked embarrassed. "Uh, yeah... Sorry about that, but unless you want to replace your clothes once a month, this is how it has to be. Anyway, they'll rip free in the night. We wouldn't watch, though!" He amended hurriedly.

"Okay, well _fine_. Fuck it." She started to undo the front of her blouse, then realised Remus was still hanging in the doorway. "You know, you can be such a _guy_ sometimes Rem. Do you mind?"

"Sorry! Sorry!" He called, and ran off to the other side of the corridor where his bedroom was. He looked up through the cracks in the boards over the window to estimate his time. The sun looked only a few inches above the horizon, meaning he had about three minutes maximum. He cursed- he really needed to learn to leave earlier and avoid this. He quickly undressed, dumping his clothes under the old bed. When he was free of the scratchy material he called to Lydia.

"You okay, Lyd? Two minutes!"

"Yeah, I'm alright," She responded, sitting cross-legged on the floor self-consciously with her arms wrapped across her chest. "A bit colder than I would like, but I'm fine."

"Good, good." He replied. _And now we wait._

The moon came quicker than either of them expected. Lydia felt it under her skin, an incessant itching that she could not scratch, so irritating it was close to pain. She tried to ignore it, but that proved impossible until another, far more unpleasant sensation took hold. Without proper warning, she was hit by a head-splitting agony that shot through all her bones like a lightening bolt, and then another. And another. Soon the pain was constant, and scream tore itself free of her lips. She fell backwards onto the creaking floorboards with another scream as the impact juddered through her re-forming bones. She had never felt a pain like this, inside her, and she never wanted to again. Another jolt, and her back arched off the floor. In the next room, she could hear Remus thrashing against the walls in the same way, yelling in pain. She clenched her hands into fists, but that only added further pain when the sharpening points of her nails slid into her skin like butter. The smell of her own blood filled her nostrils, stronger than any human sensation, and evoked a strange, sickening hunger. She tasted metal, and spat a glob of blood onto the floor.

The she smelt it- human blood, flesh. So close. She wanted it- no, _needed_ it.

"Are you two alright?" Sirius called up from the lower floor.

Remus yelled with hoarse desperation, almost howling. "_Change!_"

Immediately the tantalisingly human presence was replaced with an animalistic scent that was unappealing and uninteresting. Lydia breathed a sigh of relief, as she felt parts of herself being pulled away. The itching in her skin was increasing and soon it felt as though she was caught in huge sewing machine, needles piercing every part of her skin. Coarse, russet hair broke out all over her, bristled and uncomfortable, not that it made much difference when coupled with the pain of the rest of transformation. She was on all fours now, unable to straighten, unable to think. There was hardly any _her_ left to do the thinking; the mind of the predator, the wolf, had taken over almost entirely, pushing all her useless human thoughts to the side. Her teeth were long and clumsy, scraping across the hardened skin of her lips roughly enough to draw blood. Another spasm of moonlight shot through her barely human body, making her convulse like a wounded animal. Her head jerked sideways and-

-and she saw the moon, hanging in the sky like a perfect orb of light. It was so beautiful, it called to her, but she could not reach it. Why couldn't she? She ached to touch its smooth silvery surface, to bask in its glow. Why not?

Before she even knew what she was doing, she was howling up at the full moon as though her life depended on it, and she heard another doing the same. Who was that? What were they doing here? Were they prey?

The wolf bounded forward, a fluid blur of reddish fur and muscle, and Lydia slipped into obscurity.

Lydia woke with a pounding headache and a complete ignorance of where she was. She opened her eyes gingerly, trying to ignore the feeling that they had been cemented shut, and surveyed her surroundings. The marked wooden walls and dishevelled furniture quickly asserted that she was in the shack, and memories of the night before began to return. _The transformation._ She recoiled from the thought with a grimace. She did not want to remember that at all. She tried to sit up, and as she did so she felt deep lacerations twisting down her back. She reached behind her, and felt the harsh ridges of healing flesh there. There were three gashes, running diagonally across the small of her back. Absently, she wondered who had made them- her, Remus, or one of the animagi?

At the thought of her boyfriend, she began to worry. She swept her eyes across the room, but found she was alone and, she realised with a feeling of mingled embarrassment and annoyance, very naked. That, no doubt, was why they had left her alone to transform back, as Remus had promised. She gritted her teeth, noting dully the coppery blood taste of her tongue and deciding not to think about it, and got up. Luckily, she was in the same bedroom that she had left her clothes, though she suspected she may have been herded back there as dawn loomed. The thought made her smile as she hurriedly pulled out yesterday's clothes and put them on. While she was doing so, she checked the rest of her body, but other than a few shallow nicks on her right ankle, she was fine.

Now fully dressed, she went out onto the landing. The door to Remus' room was open, but when she poked her head around the frame, it was empty. She tiptoed down the stairs as quietly as she could, and soon caught sight of the four boys, sprawled out on the floor. Remus lay on his side, snuggling in towards the back of the sofa, a loose spring tangled in his hair. She realised with a rueful smile that this was the first time she had seen him sleeping, and took a mental picture. He looked so peaceful; with hardly any resemblance to the secretive, haunted boy she had grown to love.

Purposeless, she sat down at the foot of the stairs with her head resting on the palm of her hand, staring into space. After a while, she heard someone stir and looked up to see Sirius sitting up and stretching sleepily. He opened his eyes and spotted her, then pulled a cushion off the sofa to cover himself self-consciously. He gave her a tired smile, and she returned it. "Morning,"

"Morning," he groaned in reply, glancing around at the other still-sleeping boys. "How're you feeling?"

"Good, yeah. I don't really remember anything, and I've only got a few scratches."

He grinned. "Sorry 'bout that: you were trying to attack Remus, so I pulled you off him. Must say though, I think you came off best from that one." He moved the cushion to expose the side of his stomach, where there was a bloody ring of bite mark. Lydia's eyes flew wide with horror.

"I did that? But... won't you... _turn_?"

Sirius gave a short bark of a laugh and shook his head. "Nah, I'll be fine. The amount of times Moony's bitten me while I've been a dog... you should see the scars!"

Lydia nodded, trying to ignore the guilty feeling that washed over her. "So what about the others? Were they okay?"

Sirius glanced back briefly. "Yeah, reckon so. We didn't have too much to do- you and Moony were too fascinated with each other to need much distracting." He smiled wickedly, his tongue flicking out between his teeth provocatively.

A heavy weight dropped in the pit of Lydia's stomach. "Oh my god." She said simply, too shocked to think of anything else to say. After a pause, she squeezed her eyes shut and dared to ask The Question. "Did we...?"

Sirius gave his bark-laugh again, eyes glittering. "Not quite! Wormtail got all freaked out, and Prongsie's staring was disturbing so we had some play-fight thing."

Lydia blushed with relief and embarrassment. _Thank the frigging lord._

"Wassgoingon?" A sleepy voice asked and James raised his groggy head, his hair even messier than usual. "What did I miss?"

"Lunette's up," Sirius replied simply, and James cursed and rolled onto his stomach, hastily groping for something to cover up with. In the end, he sufficed with making a dash towards one of the curtains and hiding behind that, attempting to look suave.

"Morning,"

"Barely," Lydia replied, glancing out at the orangey sunlight of early morning. The boys sniggered tiredly.

"What time is it anyway?" James inquired, yawning.

Lydia glanced down at her watch, twisting her wrist around since she had managed to put it on upside down, then replied: "It's exactly four minutes past five."

James and Sirius groaned. "Pomfrey'll be round soon,"

"We should go..." James trailed off and bit his lip as he looked at Lydia. She rolled her eyes, smiling.

"We'll be fine, you guys go ahead." She pointed at a motionless lump in the corner. "Best take Peter with you too, though."

"Oh yeah. Right." Sirius promptly walked across the floor to the Peter-lump, and gave it a swift kick. The plump boy yelped, rolled onto his hands and knees and scurried under the table, his nose twitching. Sirius bent double to see eye to eye with his friend. "It's morning, Pete. We've got to go."

"Mmmkay," Peter mumbled sleepily, and pulled himself out.

"See you two in a bit, 'kay?" Sirius waved to Lydia and the still-sleeping Remus.

"Yeah, see ya later. Thanks."

"Anytime, Lunette. _Any_time." Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her again, James sniggered, and whilst Lydia didn't really _get_ what the innuendo was in that sentence, she decided it was worth giving Sirius a sharp kick in the skin for anyway. "Fine! Fine! Leaving!" He yelped, then left with another wave in Lydia's direction. James laughed and gave Lydia a kind of sarcastic salute before following. Peter mumbled something, but otherwise ignored her.

Then Lydia was left alone in the shack with only her thoughts and unconscious boyfriend.

Thus, she decided to remedy the situation by ensuring that the boyfriend was no longer unconscious and therefore much less boring.

She crouched down beside him, and gently poked his arm. "Remus," she hissed.

"Feel like crap. Go away."

Lydia sighed, and thumped down on the floor beside him. "I thought you were a morning person." She quipped.

"This is not morning. This is an unholy hour and I intend to sleep through it." Remus muttered into the back of the sofa.

"Oh, you are so _annoying_ when you're tired."

"Thank you."

"Welcome."

Lydia lent back against the old sofa next to Remus' head, and looked him up and down. His skin was patterned with scars, old and newer, but nothing seemed to be particularly fresh apart from a tapered scratch along his jaw line. She kissed the end closest to his ear almost as reflex, and carried on down the bloody line until she met his lips, and kissed him properly.

He sighed good-naturedly and sat up. "Alright, I'm awake. How are you doing?"

She shrugged. "I'm fine- I'm not tired or anything. You had me worried with all your doom-gloom talk!"

"I guess it's just better with two- the first was awful for me."

"Lucky Lunette," Lydia said, trying for a proper smile.

Remus rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, "Sure. '_Lucky_' is not quite the word I'd use, but whatever. You like the nickname then?"

"I guess so. It _is_ kinda clever, in an I-am-Sirius-and-I-English-good sort of way."

Remus chuckled, and made a mental note to inform Sirius of this development later. "How were the others?"

"They are okay- they _said_ so, anyway. I," she hesitated, feeling that guilty feeling wash over her once more. "Bit Sirius. But he says it's okay, because he was a dog at the time. He will be okay, won't he?"

Remus nodded, and slung his am affectionately over her shoulder. "Don't worry about him- he knows more than any of us really give him credit for."

"Thanks, Rem." Then she added, "Sorry for waking you up."

"Meh, it's not a problem, Madame Pomfrey'll-"

There was a loud knock on the door, then the handle turned and the plump matron stepped into the shack.

"Speak of the devil," Remus muttered, and Lydia grinned.

"There you are! And you're both alright? Well, yes, I suppose I can see that. _Remus, would you please put some clothes on_? Lydia's managed it!" Madame Pomfrey bustled, half to herself and half to the two teenagers at her feet. She looked around the shack and tutted loudly. "The state of this place- It's a wonder it's still standing! I shall have to speak to Dumbledore- this simply isn't appropriate!"

"Poppy, it's fine." Remus interrupted delicately, struggling with the waistband of his trousers. "We don't need anything else- we'd just destroy it anyway." With a triumphant expression on his face, he stood up and slipped his feet into a pair of shoes. "Shall we head back up to school?"

Madame Pomfrey looked up almost surprisedly, then replied. "Yes, yes, of course. Right you are! Silly me. Do follow me, children."

Remus rolled his eyes again, and looped an arm around Lydia's waist. She nuzzled into the nape of his neck. "Come on," he said, jostling her slightly. "Let's get back to reality."


	5. Secrets Best Kept

_A/N: So I decided to update a little early this week, because I don't know when I'll be able to get the chapter after this up and there will be a wait while I'm at school *hides* Blame the shitty internet with blocks and stuff. Anyway... hope you like! _

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Lydia thundered down the granite steps to the Potions dungeon with her heart pounding hard in her chest. She pushed open the heavy stone door and flopped into her seat, slapping her textbook down on the desk defiantly. The bell tolled seconds later, and Lydia smiled. She glanced across at Remus, who was sitting with Sirius on the desk across the isle from her with a raised eyebrow.

"Just in time," she mouthed, and he rolled his eyes.

"'_Just_,'" he confirmed, grinning.

At the front of the classroom, Slughorn gave a small cough of a laugh and tapped the blackboard with his wand. A set of chalked instructions began to write themselves on the board and Slughorn addressed the class. "Now that Miss Neeson is here, I think it's time we begin. Now today we are going to attempt to make" he gestured at the blackboard with a flourish, "the Draught of Peace!"

The class gave a collective groan, and Slughorn looked slightly offended.

"Now! It may be a difficult potion, but you are all highly competent- yes, even you, Mr. Pettigrew!- potion brewers, and I have every faith in your abilities. And, if all goes horribly pear-shaped, I will be on hand for assistance. Alright? No questions?"

The room was silent.

"Begin!"

Lydia got to her feet reluctantly and made her way over to the store cupboard. She felt a warm hand clasp hers. "Hey," Remus whispered in her ear, kissing the top of it gently.

"We're in class," she told him in a singsong voice and gently pushed his head away. "Hi."

He chuckled softly and bent down to retrieve his ingredients. Lydia waited patiently in line behind him. A moment later, he stood up, and pushed a selection of things towards Lydia. "Here," he smiled at her, "I got double."

"Thanks, Rem." She squeezed his forearm appreciatively, then took the ingredients and returned to her desk. She was reluctantly starting the long and arduous task of cutting up and powdering the root of asphodel that Remus had gathered for her when the door was flung open.

"Late, Mr. Snape?" Slughorn asked jokingly from the front of the classroom.

"Probably got his nose stuck in the door," Sirius muttered snidely to James, who laughed. Snape gave them a withering look.

"Where's my desk?" Snape said suddenly, scowling at the area of floor behind Lydia which, she realized now, was usually occupied by his desk.

Slughorn looked at him blankly for a moment, before a look of dawning comprehension broke over his wrinkled face. "Oh yes! The third years melted it last Tuesday. Sorry about that. You could always sit next to Miss Neeson...?" He looked towards Lydia for confirmation, who shrugged. "Excellent! Well, you can just set your things up here then, Mr. Snape,"

Snape looked Lydia up and down, his mouth curling into a cruel sneer. "Fine," he slung his bag on the floor, and hastily set up his cauldron. He grabbed some ingredients from the back and began to powder the asphodel as though it had done him a personal wrong. After a moment's consideration, Lydia looked at her carefully powdered pile, and shoved a portion of it over to Snape. "Here, have some of mine. I've got too much anyway."

Snape looked down at the tidy pile in disgust, then turned his gaze to Lydia. "I don't want anything of yours, _freak_."

Remus growled. "You stay away," he warned. Lydia looked at them both in shock, her eyes wide, and this made Snape sneer even more widely.

"Don't think I don't know your dirty little secret, '_Lunette_'. Disgusting _animals_!"

Remus jumped to his feet, but was held back by Sirius. "He's not worth it,"

"Oh, yes, he is." Lydia hissed, shoving her wand brutally into Snape's neck, just below his jaw bone. Her eyes glowed a brilliant yellow, their pupils narrowed to slits. He smirked grimly.

"Gentlemen! Ladies! What's all this?" Slughorn cried in alarm, pulling Lydia away from the greasy-haired boy.

"The _bastard-_" Remus began, but was interrupted.

"Mister Lupin! _Language_!"

"He was being rude sir. About... my mother." Lydia made a quick save, thinking on her feet. "He called her a mudblood."

Slughorn turned to Snape reproachfully. "Severus, I would expect _better_ of you! Detention, I think, and you will go and sit over there." He pointed to the other side of the classroom, where there was an empty desk.

Snape seized his books and cauldron and got to his feet. He took one last look at Lydia as he went. "Gladly," he spat.

Without looking anywhere but at her cauldron, she began mixing furiously to the extent that she managed to splash a glob of boiling potion onto her arm, which burned. She cursed, and hurried over to the basin to wash it under the cold water. She sighed with relief as the cool liquid slid over her skin like a blessing, numbing the pain.

"Are you alright?"

Remus' soft voice was in her ear again, and he put an arm around her waist. Sirius wolf-whistled behind them, and Slughorn chuckled good-heartedly and muttered something about puppy-love. Lydia heard Snape snort, and she bristled again, her hands curling into white-knuckled fists.

"How does he know?" She hissed beneath her breath.

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "It's complicated."

"I don't care. What happened?"

Remus sighed, then let go of Lydia. "Professor, Lydia's burned herself and I think she should go to the Hospital Wing. Could we be excused?"

"Oh dear!" Exclaimed Slughorn, looking worried, if somewhat wobbly. "Well, of course you can. Good to see a gentleman around the place."

"Thank you, sir." He said and bowed his head. "C'mon," he took Lydia's hand and led her from the room.

As soon as the door had swung back into its frame, Lydia rounded on her boyfriend. "Okay; talk."

Remus licked his lips, looking ashamed. "You know how much Sirius hates Snape,"

"Duh," She said, rolling her eyes. "You'd have to be an idiot not to."

"Well, about four months ago they had... an argument- well, more like a fight- when the rest of us were doing other things- James was off with Lily, Peter was ill, and I wasn't feeling to good since it would be full moon that night. Snape was trying to find out what was wrong with me, researching and things, and Sirius didn't like it. They had a big fight, and Sirius let slip to Snape that I was going through the willow that night.

"Naturally, Snape tried to follow me. When James found out what Sirius had done, he ran after Snape and tried to pull him back, but he had already gotten into the shack and I was starting to transform." Remus gave an involuntary shudder at the memory. "It drove the wolf mad, the scent of human, and apparently it followed them into the tunnel. _I_ followed them. James managed to get them both out, and neither of them got hurt, but he saw. He saw _me_, and he was gong to tell everyone but Dumbledore stepped in and told him not to. He couldn't stop him from giving me hell for it at every turn though."

Lydia stood speechless for a moment, taking it all in. After a few seconds, she narrowed her eyes. "So this is all Sirius' fault then?" She asked dangerously.

"I know it seems like that, but he didn't mean it. Don't be mad, please. I'm not." Remus pleaded, taking her hands in his and toying with his lip. "That's just how he is,"

"You're too soft, but I guess that you have more right hold it against him that I do." Lydia smiled reluctantly, the corners of her mouth twitching slightly upwards. "You win,"

Remus grinned wickedly. "Oh, indeed I do, Miss Lydia." Gently, his hand travelled up her neck and he rubbed the place where her hair began to grow in long, thick red strands with his thumb. She closed her eyes briefly with contentment and he took that opportunity to press his lips to hers. She made a soft, surprised little noise, and twisted her hands through his hair, pulling him closer. The kiss quickly became a battle between the two of them, passion consuming all rationality. Lydia could not get enough of Remus' exquisite taste, and it dawned on her that this was the first proper kiss that they had shared since she had become a werewolf.

After a few minutes, Lydia drew back for breath and opened her eyes. She found herself looking straight into Remus' which were glowing wolfishly. "Your eyes have gone weird,"

"Yours too. They look beautiful," he said, and kissed her again, more softly this time. Lydia melted under his touch, making quiet moaning noises against his lips. They stayed locked together in mutual pleasure for more time that either of them cared to mourn the passing of, and would have done so for longer, had they not been interrupted.

"Miss Neeson! _Mister Lupin_!"

The couple tore themselves apart as though struck by an electric shock and turned to face the speaker. A stern faced woman with a tight bun loomed towards them, looking not in the least bit amused.

"We do not permit such public displays of affection are _not permitted_ on school grounds- _especially not_ in lesson time! You should know better, both of you! Return to your lessons at once, and I shall be informing Professor Flitwick of this, Miss Neeson." McGonagall shook her head in distain. "I am very disappointed in the both of you- as prefects, you should be setting an example, not engaging in public displays of debauchery!"

"Sorry, professor." They muttered simultaneously, with their heads hanging, and trudged back towards the dungeons resolutely. The lesson was nearly over when they re-entered the classroom, and a milky smog of potion mist hovered just at eye level. Lydia inhaled some and proceeded to have a coughing fit.

"Ah, good to see you both back- feeling much better, I hope?" Slughorn enquired, stirring one of the Slytherin's potions with his wand.

"Yes, thank you sir." Lydia replied, nodding and trying not to blush.

Slughorn furrowed his brow for a second, and took a quick glance around. "Well, there really is no point in you starting to brew again now- why don't you just pair up with someone else for the rest of the lesson?"

"Okay, thanks sir," the couple replied, and Lydia gave the old man a wide smile. They each pulled up a stool next to the desks where the Marauders had gathered.

"Skipping classes, Moony! I am so proud," Sirius said, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. "He's growing up," he said to James, and they shared a laugh.

Lydia gave him a shove, a little harder than was strictly considered friendly. "You can shush."

"Hey, what was that for?" He demanded indignantly, rubbing his side.

Remus provided and answer for her. "I told her about the Snape thing, Padfoot." He turned to Lydia with mock annoyance, "Behave, you."

"Oh. Well. Um... sorry about that..." Sirius said guiltily, developing a sudden interest in the intricacies of stirring his Draught of Peace, which was now nearing completion.

"It's fine." Lydia said, with a short laugh. "Bloody twat," Sirius gave her a gentle shove in return, but managed to catch her burnt forearm. She winced.

"Here, let me get that for you," Remus swept his wand smoothly across his arm, and the reddened skin returned to its normal pallor.

"How'd you do that?"

Remus shrugged, looking down a little embarrassedly. "It's nothing- just a thing Madame Pomfrey taught me. You know, to heal any of the major injuries" he lowered his voice, looking around cautiously, "after full moon."

"Oh right. Well, thanks."

"My pleasure," he said, leaning over the potion. "You're sure this is right?" He asked Sirius, who chewed his lip. "Isn't it meant to be magenta now?"

"Pink's not far off magenta..."

Remus rolled his eyes for what felt like the millionth time that day, and prodded the broth with the tip of his wand. It darkened to the correct magenta colour.

"Thanks, Moony," Sirius said, gleefully adding the final ingredient. The potion frothed for a moment, then turned a beautiful translucent blue, like a Caribbean ocean. Lydia sniffed at the pale cyan fumes drifting lazily off its surface, and was overwhelmed by a sense of content. She took another deep breath, and smiled lopsidedly with her eyes closed.

"Smells good," she commented, lacing her fingers through Remus'. He lent his head against the top of her hair, nuzzling into the soft red mass, the sweet scent of the potion curling around his nostrils. He murmured an agreement, ignoring the wolf-whistling marauders, perfectly at ease.

Lydia sighed, and nestled closer, enjoying the moment of peace and Remus' warm body beside her. Nonchalantly, she allowed her eyes to drift open and glance around the class- Slughorn was chuckling absently to himself, stealing occasional glances at the two of them, and many other members of the class were looking at them; boys mostly had wistful or confused looks on their faces, but many of the girls stared at Lydia as though she had spat in their eye, casting jealous glances at her. Lydia didn't care though- she had her Remus and that was all that would matter.

One pair of eyes stood out from the crowd, though, gleaming with malice, and a snide mouth twisted sneeringly. _"Animals,"_ it mocked silently.


	6. The End of Something

Heya peoples! So this is going to be the last update for three weeks, because I'm heading back to school in a couple of days and their idiotic internet has issues with publishing chapters on here for no apparent reason. Anyway, this is a pretty long one so hopefully you won't eat my soul and I guarantee a bit of plotty excitement in the next one, which I'll put up as soon as I can. Anyway, enjoy!

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Lydia shivered and pulled her thick woollen coat more tightly around her body, to ward away the cold, shoving her hands deep into her pockets and hunching. The wind continued to rip mercilessly through her, chilling her to the bone.

"Here," She felt a slight increase in the pressure on her shoulders as a warm blanket was draped across them. She nudged Remus with her head as thankfully as she could hope to be with a head nudge, and sidled closer to him.

"I can't believe it's the Christmas holidays already," She remarked, looking out at the snow-covered grounds and the path out towards the coaches. She had to admit, despite the biting cold, that the school was at its most beautiful at this time of year- the icy lake glimmered under the winter sun like a jewel, and even the Willow looked unpresuming and innocent under its think layer of powder white. She took a last glance back at the school as a memory for the next two weeks, capturing its image in her mind.

Remus wrapped his arm around her waist in a familiar gesture. "Yeah, I guess they crept up on us this year, what with everything that's happened."

"Mmm," Lydia bit her lip anxiously. "What are they going to say?"

Remus sighed and pulled Lydia around to face him, bending down to her eye level. "Your parents love you, Lydia. They won't hold it against you. Just... give them time."

Lydia's eyes were still filled with concern, for Remus rather than herself, but behind that there was a steely edge of grim determination. "I think you should meet them."

Remus let go of her shoulders and took a step back with a nervous laugh. "I really don't think that would be such a good idea, Lyd."

"Why not?" She demanded, planting her hands on her hips sternly.

"I hardly think that your parents are going to be over the moon to meet the werewolf who bit you- especially when that werewolf is your boyfriend." He said imploringly, looking somewhat desperate.

Lydia rolled her eyes. "You," she said, gently prodding him in the chest, "are over-reacting. They will _like_ you. And," she paused, looking slightly devious, "we don't strictly have to _tell_ them that it was you."

Remus cut her off almost before the sentence had finished. "No, we do. We owe them that."

Lydia took one look at the pain behind Remus' eyes and decided that she was perhaps not ever going to understand the inner workings of his mind, but that she could live with that. She nodded, and caught sight of a carriage pulling up at the end of the road, a short way from where they stood in the snow. She pointed to it, nudging Remus. "There's our ride,"

"Yup," he said, a smile returning as it nearly always did around Lydia. "Shall we run?"

Without even answering him, Lydia grabbed Remus' hand and they set off at a sprint towards the horseless carriage. They hopped inside, and sat down. Remus stuck his head out of the window to check that they weren't leaving anyone behind and then whistled. The carriage started moving instantly.

"That's odd," Lydia quipped, "I didn't know that they were charmed to respond to whistle; I always thought that they were automated."

Remus laughed somewhat darkly, not meeting her eye. "They're not- the carriages are pulled by Thestrals."

"What, those freaky skeleton horses that you can't see unless you've watched someone else die?" Lydia asked incredulously.

"The very same," Remus nodded.

"Can you see them then?"

"My mother was killed by my own hand before my eyes when I was seven years old- I have always seen them."

"Oh," Lydia fell silent after that, and they did not speak for the rest of the journey. Remus spent it gazing out of the window, not looking once at Lydia, but she was looking at him. More than once, she saw the glimmer of a tear slide down his face, and she wished she cold take away his pain. Worse, she knew that she intensified it.

Soon the carriage pulled up next to the station and ground to a halt, and the couple got out. Lydia linked her arm through Remus' comfortingly. "I'm sorry," she told him quietly. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

Remus gave her a small pained smile. "Don't be. It wasn't your fault. Let's just... enjoy the rest of the journey."

Lydia nodded, and together they boarded the train from the empty platform. "Nice of Dumbledore to get an earlier train for us,"

"I think he didn't want everyone to be there if your parents make a scene, but yes, it was a kind gesture. He's a good man."

They sat down in the first compartment they saw, and Lydia pulled her bag off her shoulders. She was standing on tip-toes, about to out it on the rack, when Remus took it from her and easily stretched up to the shelf. "Thanks, Rem."

"My pleasure, Lyd. I doubt I'll even be required for things like this soon,"

"What do you mean?"

"My father has done a great deal of research into the werewolf gene over the last seven years, mainly through St Mungo's, who don't seem to hold the fact that he is technically a muggle against him, and one of the things that he has discovered is linked to the change is physical development." Remus paused as though he wasn't really sure whether he should be saying this or not. "Muscles, bones- they grow and get stronger. Your senses get sharpened, which I expect you've already noticed, and you pain tolerance barrier goes through the roof, though that might not be a direct result of the transformation. You'll get taller and stronger basically. Not sure how much, since you've already had your," he laughed, looking at Lydia's petite form, "'growth spurt', but probably enough that you won't be the third shortest in our year anymore."

"Oh," she said, looking slightly taken aback. Remus' smile slipped.

"There're a lot of new things to get used to, I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," She told him, echoing his earlier sentiment and cuddling into his side, listening to the sound of his slow breathing and his heart beat. Before long, she had fallen sound asleep, and Remus sat, staring into space and stroking her hair.

The train rolled to a halt three hours later, and the couple had not moved from their position, bar that Remus' head lolled to one side as he too had fallen asleep. The jolt of lack of motion woke them both up as they were thrown forwards, out of their seat and onto the hard floor. Remus groaned, half-awake, and Lydia rubbed the back of her head in annoyance. "They did that on purpose," She grumbled.

"It's all a big conspiracy, I'm sure." Remus picked himself up off the floor and took Lydia's bag down from the shelf, slipping the straps over his shoulders, wincing a little at the weight. "What do you have in this thing?"

Lydia waved the comment away. "Just clothes and that, you big baby, and you don't have to carry it- I can manage."

"Are you kidding? I need all the help I can get to be the gentlemanly boyfriend and not the evil monster from hell. I'll be fine." Remus told her firmly, and held the compartment door open for her to get out. She took his hand reassuringly.

"It'll be fine."

He scoffed, and together they stepped out onto Platform 9 ¾ of King's Cross Station.

Lydia spotted her parents immediately, standing at the closest end of the platform to the door with identical worried expressions on their faces, huddled up in long coats, scarves and gloves side by side. Her mother looked about forty, and had her mid-length brown hair loose and curly down to her shoulders. Mr. Neeson looked a strict man, wearing a severe expression under his greying hair and watching the platform with small blue eyes, the exactly shade of his daughter's. "There," She pointed, pulling Remus with her towards them. He gulped noisily.

"Mum! Dad!" She rushed over to them with Remus in tow and released her grip on Remus' hand to hug each of them tightly. Mrs. Neeson embraced her warmly, giving her daughter a kiss on the cheek, but her father visibly stiffened at her touch.

"How was the last term, dear? I do hope you've been keeping up with your school work, oh, and how's Nessa? What abou-" Mrs. Neeson began asking with motherly interest and concern. Lydia smiled and cut her off.

"I'm fine, mum, everything's fine. This is Remus," She said, elbowing Remus in the ribs. He gave a pained smile and offered his hand in greeting.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Neeson, Mr. Neeson."

Lydia's mother took his hand and shook it enthusiastically, but her father looked at the interaction with disdain. "Who are you?" He demanded of Remus flatly.

"He's my boyfriend, dad." Lydia said lightly before Remus could answer, and he blushed as Lydia took his hand again. She pulled the backpack off his shoulders affectionately, and set it down on the floor. Lydia's father's eyes went hard and critical, but not of Remus.

"Your eyes have changed," He remarked testily, boring into her.

Lydia's smile slipped slightly, and she chewed her lip for a moment before replying. "A lot of things have changed since I saw you last,"

Silence hung in the air between them, and even Mrs. Neeson's kind smile dissolved. "Professor Dumbledore told us about what happened. We still love you, honey, and we'll help you through this. It is a terrible shame,"

"They should lock that monster up." Her father growled venomously, looking like a monster himself. Remus winced, biting the inside of his lip. Lydia shot him a concerned look, as though questioning whether it really would be advisable to tell them who had taken their child's humanity.

Remus took a deep breath, and bowed his head, taking a step away from Lydia and her family and letting go of her hand. Lydia observed the tightness of his muscles and the way his weight was centred on the balls of his feet and knew that he was preparing himself to run.

She wasn't surprised. What did surprise her, however, was what he said next.

"I'd have to agree with you there, Mr. Neeson." He said, still staring at the ground. "It was an appalling crime to hurt someone like your daughter as she has been. I've known her for more than four years now, and we have been together for two of those, and I do not think I have ever met a girl as kind, considerate and compassionate as Lydia."

Mrs. Neeson beamed, with tears glistening in her eyes, torn between pride and sadness. Mr. Neeson looked at the boy suspiciously.

"And that's why I'm sorry. It's... this... this was all my fault. I... I shouldn't have let it happen. When I came to the school, we always knew it would be dangerous, but over the years we grew used to the danger and... and..."

"Say what you mean, boy, stop speaking in riddles!" Mr. Neeson was glaring at Remus, pulling himself up to his full height. It was obvious that he knew exactly what was going on, but he was determined to hear the boy say it himself.

"I'm the monster. I infected your daughter. I'm so sorry, I... I can't justify what I did, but please- if I had known, if I had been myself that night, I could never have harmed Lydia."

Mr. Neeson's fist slammed into Remus' face, catching him on the crest of his cheekbone. The golden wedding ring the man wore sliced open the boy's cheek, and splatters of blood arced through the air. Lydia screamed.

"Dad! Stop!"

Lydia's father swatted her roughly to one side and hit him again, sending Remus reeling. But he didn't fight back, even when Mr. Neeson picked Remus up by his shirt collar, his feet dangling a few inches off the ground, he stayed silent.

"Stay away from my girl, you monster." he snarled, and spat in Remus' face before dropping him to the ground. He kicked him hard in the side, and Remus curled into a ball, breathlessly clutching his side. Lydia grabbed her father's arm, and spun his him to face her. Mrs. Neeson looked on in horror.

"Leave him alone, dad. It wasn't his fault!"

"Damned right it was his fault," the man roared, trying to round on Remus again, but Lydia held him fast with new strength.

She spoke gently, but there was a hard and dangerous edge on her voice. "You don't know anything, _dad_. You haven't transformed, you don't know what it's like; you are not in control of your own mind as the wolf, you don't know what you are doing. He couldn't have controlled himself, no matter how hard he tried! He did everything he could to keep everyone safe, to keep me safe. He holed himself up in some god-forsaken old house- you've heard of the _Shrieking Shack_- and suffered there for four years, and more before that, at home. He's had to deal with this since he was _seven years old_, and you're going to hit him for it, call him a monster? Am I a monster, dad? _I_ followed him, _I _broke into the shack, even after he told me not to. And you want to call him a monster. Do us all a favour, _dad_, and take a good long look in the mirror before you start calling the kettle black."

Mr. Neeson took a step back as though Lydia had physically slapped him, and his fisted hands dropped loosely to his sides. Lydia offered a helping hand to Remus and helped him to his feet, glaring at her father. Mrs. Neeson regained her composure and rushed over, supporting Remus' other side. "Shame on you, Harvey," she spat disdainfully, and quickly fixed up Remus' face with her wand. "Don't you worry, dear. If Lydia says you weren't to blame, then I believe her. And so too should her father!"

Mrs. Neeson glared at her husband, who stayed silent.

"Thanks for being here for me, Rem." Lydia kissed his forehead, and he smiled weakly, pulling himself up enough to kiss her properly on the lips. Mrs. Neeson made cooing noises in the background, proud mother once again.

"I'll see you soon. My parents will be waiting outside the entrance." He told her, looking slightly apologetic.

"You go to them, I'll see you in a couple of weeks. Thanks."

"You said that," he smiled, and squeezed her hand once before limping away through the barrier, absently wiping at the remaining blood on his face.

As soon as he was gone, Mrs. Neeson rounded on her husband. "What were you thinking, _hitting_ the poor boy like that!" She fumed.

"Our daughter, our _only_ daughter." He said simply, grinding his teeth.

"He loves me, dad." Lydia implored, trying to make him see reason. He snorted.

"He's fifteen, he doesn't even know what that is!"

Lydia gave her father a hurt look, half-filled with anger. "You don't have a clue, do you?" She asked incredulously, and with that she stormed off through the barrier. Her mother picked up the heavy bag a hurried after her, leaving Mr. Neeson speechless of the platform in their wake.

The journey home was slow. As they drove, Lydia's mother quizzed her about school and her friends, carefully avoiding the subject of her newly acquired lycanthropy, whilst Harvey Neeson kept his hands tight on the steering wheel and his eyes on the road. When they finally got home, after and hour that had felt more like a year, Lydia quickly excused herself under the pretence of tiredness and retired to her bedroom.

It felt strange to be back in the privacy of her room after dormitory life at Hogwarts. Admittedly, she only had one roommate, but nonetheless the difference was unsettling. She lay on her bed, which was made up with a cover she had had since she was eleven, staring up at the ceiling but not really seeing it. Instead, she was listening to the conversation her parents were having below her. She did not even have to strain to hear their words, though she was not sure if that was because of her recently improved senses, or the volume at which they were talking.

"It's not right, Mary, it's not!" Her father was saying, and she heard a fist slam into the kitchen table. She could imagine her mother's wince at the sound.

"She's our daughter, Harvey! What do you want me to do- pretend the last sixteen years didn't happen? I love her, and you do too- remember that!"

"I loved _Lydia_! _That_ isn't Lydia, it's a bloody monster! How do you expect to live with it? She can't change in the house- she'd kill us, you heard what she and that _boy_ said. It'd be better to end it now, before it gets any worse."

"No! I won't kill my own daughter, Harvey- not for you, not for anyone!"

Lydia gasped. Her own father wanted her dead, like some kind of dying animal. _'Before it gets worse,'_ _he said- what do they think is going to happen to me?_ She wondered deliriously, clutching her quilt covers as though they were her life-line to reality. Downstairs, the argument continued.

"I won't have one in my house!" He father roared, and Lydia heard something breakable smash into a wall and cascade of china tinkle onto the floor.

"My house," she heard her mother say, quietly, dangerously.

"What?"

"It's _my_ house, Harvey, passed down to _me_ in _my_ mother's will. Not yours." She said a little louder, her voice filled with thought.

"So? It doesn't matter! The point still-"

"No, Harvey, I think that you will find it does. Because, you see, if it's my house, which it is, it means you have no right to be here if I decide that you shouldn't be."

Lydia held her breath, knowing what was coming next. So too, it seemed, did her father.

"Are you leaving me, Mary?" He demanded, taking a step Lydia could only presume towards her mother. However, unlike usually, her mother did not bend.

"No, Harvey. _You're_ leaving, unless you accept our daughter for who-not what- she is."

"You insolent little bitch!" Lydia heard a fist whistle through the air, the same fist that had smashed into Remus' face, hardly more than an hour before. However, this, unlike the last, did not hit home.

"Get out of my house!" Lydia heard her mother yell, and there was a resounding metallic clang, followed by a groan. "And I've got more saucepans where this came from- out!"

"You'll regret this," she heard her father mutter, breathing heavily.

"Just leave, Harvey." She said, and there was a creak as the back door was held open. "I'll drop your things off at your mother's."

The door slammed, and Lydia's mother breathed an audible sigh of relief. Lydia picked herself off of her bed, and crept quietly down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Mum?"

"It's okay, honey. I... I should have done that years ago," Mary Neeson wiped a tear away from her eye and smiled. Despite the wetness on her face and the angry blush on her pale skin, she looked happier than Lydia had seen her look in years. More than that, she looked _free_.

Lydia wrapped her arms around her mother and hugged her tightly, holding her trembling form as though she were as breakable as a doll. Her mother sobbed and sobbed into her shoulder until she had no more tears left to cry, and then she just stood, unspeaking, holding onto her daughter as though she would never let her go, and dread the day she would have to.

And, Lydia knew, it was for the best.


	7. Retail Therapy

Heya guys! Chapter 7 of Love Bites is here as I have two days off school so thanks for waiting :D I'm approaching the end of what I've prewritten, just up to Chapter 11, so I need to get on that... but if updates become eeeeven slower, blame exams... anyway, on with the show :D

* * *

"Lydia!"

Lydia was woken abruptly from a dreamless sleep by her mother's voice, which sounded nothing but merry despite the events of the week before. It should have shocked Lydia that her mother had gotten over the separation with her husband so quickly, but it didn't. They had all known that all was not well for at least two years now, the cracks in their marriage having begun to not long before Lydia's fourteenth birthday. It was subtle at first- a snide comment here, a little argument there- nothing serious, or so it had seemed. It was when the mental battles turned to physical violence that Lydia and Mrs. Neeson realised what a dangerous precipice they were backing towards. Lydia could remember the first time he'd hit her mother with perfect clarity, the memory burned into her mind.

"_Clumsy cow!"_

_Her father's shout rang out through the house, making Lydia wince. She tucked her knees in tighter to her chest, huddling into the corner of the sitting room and wanting nothing more than to disappear. Her mother flinched away from Harvey Neeson, who was standing in the middle of the room with his fists clenched and shaking with rage. There was a large stain spreading down his left side, turning the fabric of his jumper from pale blue to a dark brown. Her mother put the now empty coffee cup down on the coffee table, her hands trembling slightly._

"_I'm so sorry Harvey, I wasn't looking where I was going, it was all my fault. I'll clean this up right away," Her eyes pleaded with her husband, whose lip curled menacingly, his eyes blazing madly._

"_You're sorry, are you? I slave all day to provide for this family- to feed you, to keep a roof over your heads- and you just throw it back in my face! Stupid bitch! I paid for this, and you have just fucking ruined it! Who the hell do you think you are?"_

"_I'm sorry, Harvey! I'll buy another! I-"_

"_Don't you dare answer me back, you stupid fuck!"_

_Lydia twisted her head, her hands flying up to cover her eyes. A moment and a crossed line later, she peeked through her fingers to survey the damage. Her mother huddled on the floor, clutching her cheek and looking up at her husband with frightened, accusing eyes._

_Her father lent over Mary Neeson, his face devoid of any kind of emotion. He questioned her in a low voice. "What the fuck do you think you're looking at, bitch?"_

_Mary Neeson stuttered. "N-n-n-nothing, Harvey."_

"_That's right. Now clean this fucking mess up!"_

"_Yes. Okay. Sorry. I am. Sorry." She picked herself up and hurried off, coming back a moment later with a wet cloth. "I've put a clean shirt on the bed,"_

"_Too fucking right," He said, leaving the room. When the door swung back behind him, Lydia breathed._

"_Are you alright, mum?"_

"_I'm fine, honey, just fine. Don't worry," She told her without meeting her eye, determinedly scrubbing at a stain in the carpet. "I'm fine,"_

Lydia shuddered from the memory, buttoning up her jeans and shrugging on an old baggy blue T-shirt. She was glad that they wouldn't have to deal with that anymore.

Now fully dressed, she wandered down to the kitchen, where her mother had put out breakfast on the table for her already. She started spooning up her cereal tiredly, her mind still foggy from sleep. Her mother bustled in a moment later.

"Ah, good, you're up. I thought we could go shopping today, if that's okay with you?" Her mother carefully did up the buttons on her thick coat, waving a quick spell at the washing up, which began to clean itself.

"Um, yeah, sure." Lydia said, but looked a little confused. "But I don't really _need_ anything from Diagon Alley, mum."

Mary Neeson gave a short laugh. "No dear, we're just going to the muggle shops. I thought you might like some new clothes, or a book or something. I've spoken to the Lupins too, and they're going to come along too with Remus and meet us near the Camden Loch Market. Would that be nice?"

Lydia's heart swelled. "That'd be great mum, thanks. I'll just get something a bit warmer on."

She rushed up the stairs and came down a moment later in a fitted dark green shirt, wearing more make-up than she had been before. Her eyes were rimmed with dark kohl and her lashes weighed down with thick mascara.

"That doesn't look much warmer," Mrs. Neeson remarked, looking bemused.

Lydia cast her gaze down guiltily, grabbing a coat off the stand. "Erm... It is... Shall we go?"

"You haven't finished your breakfast!"

"I'm not really that hungry. I might get something in town," Lydia stood by the front door, her hand hovering over the handle excitedly.

Mrs. Neeson rolled her eyes, but she smiled nonetheless. "Okay, let's go then, dear."

After the crushing darkness of side-along apparation, the bright winter sunlight of Camden town was a beautiful sight to Lydia's eyes. As she and her mother surreptitiously emerged from the back street they apparated to, Lydia couldn't keep her excitement from her face. She smiled to herself, observing the crowd to see if she could see him. When she looked around, she realised what an insightful decision her mother had made in coming here instead of anywhere else- just looking around at the masses of teenagers with a wide array of piercings, zany hair colours and insane clothing made her feel, for the first time in some time, almost normal.

"Keep close now, honey, wouldn't want to lose you!" Mrs. Neeson gripped her shirt sleeve protectively and tugged her through the crowd until they were out of the way of the main street of shops and standing on the short bridge that looked out over the river. The market was a little less that twenty metres away, and they could see the front of it well enough. Lydia sighed, seeing Remus was not there yet, and in one fluid motion pulled herself up and perched on the railing, absently kicking her heels against the metal. Her mother looked at her concernedly, eying the river with worry, but Lydia just smiled at her, closing her eyes and leaning back just to the point at which she wouldn't be able to pull herself back and resting there, breathing pure exhilaration.

"Hey," A soft and beautifully familiar voice made her wrench herself forward and stumble onto the floor. She put an arm out to steady herself, and found it supported by Remus, standing beside her and looking more handsome than ever in a simple black T-shirt and jeans.

"The 'Smashing Pumpkins...?" She read, raising an eyebrow at him. Remus blushed.

"They're a muggle band," He explained bashfully, looking away.

She patted him on the head playfully, trying to ignore that she had to stand on tiptoes to do so. "You're so cute,"

"Shall we go to the market then, kids?" Remus' father called to them, a few paces ahead chattering with her mother.

Remus looked at Lydia questioningly. "Why not?" She said in answer to his unvoiced question, and she took his hand and together they walked towards the market.

In front of them, Mary Neeson and John Lupin were talking avidly to each other, as though neither had ever met a more interesting human being. Both were alone, and had been, either physically or mentally, for years and Lydia guessed that it was a comfort to them that there was someone else who shared their pain. She nudged Remus, not sure if he had noticed, and he just nodded, sharing with her a secret smile. It sent a shiver up Lydia's spine, and compelled her to stand on the tips of her toes and press her lips to Remus' in a simple kiss, which she did.

"What was that for?" He asked, bemused but hardly complaining.

"Does it have to have a reason?"

He shook his head, coming to a halt as they drew level with the adults just out side the mass of market stalls. Mr. Lupin addressed them. "Okay, I guess you kids would like to go and explore without us oldies, so if we meet here in... two hours? I think that'd be the best for both of us."

"Yup, that'd be fine," Lydia told him and Remus nodded gratefully at his father.

"Great idea, John!" Mary Neeson said, and then blushed when the man gave her a wide smile. "Off you go then, you two." She said, shooing them off. Lydia waved at her mother, then disappeared into the market with Remus.

They wandered past the first couple of stalls, which seemed mostly to be clothes stands, and then Remus stopped in front of a velvet-covered table which held host to a wide array of jewellery.

"Lydia, look at that." He said, pointing to a teardrop-shaped gold pendant with a dark blue gem sunk into the metal. "I bet that'd look beautiful with your eyes," He picked it up, turning it over and over in his hands and glancing up at her. He opened his hand and extended it towards her tentatively.

Seeing that he was serious, she reached over to it and turned it over to look at the price tag. She almost gagged when she saw it, and put it back. "No, don't worry, I think it'd be too heavy for me anyway."

Remus snatched it back. "No, no, it's really nice. I've got enough for this, for you." He told her, pulling a two twenty pound notes from his pocket. The stall owner, an ageing woman with grey hair and wispy clothing in various colours, took the money greedily and stowed it in a pouch around her waist, giving Remus back a five pound note. He thanked her, and then fastened it around Lydia's neck before she could complain.

She turned it over in her fingers, her eyes wide. "You really don't have to do this, Rem."

"No, but I want to." He told her, taking her by the elbow and pulling her along to the next shop. It was something of a bazaar, with two tables covered in an assortment of miscellaneous items. Remus made a beeline for a stack of books, followed by Lydia.

"They do say great minds think alike," Lydia nudged him, and he laughed.

The owner of the bazaar leered over at them, showing blackened teeth. Lydia grimaced. "Looking more anything in particular?" He drawled.

"No, not really, just browsing." Remus shook his head, not making eye contact as he read the titles.

"Very good, sir." The owner nodded, still leering in a way that disconcerted Lydia. She couldn't repress a slight shudder when he turned his gaze to her. "What about you, madam? In fact, I have the perfect thing!"

The man reached under the table, out of Lydia's line of sight, and brought back an ornate ring crafted around a gem of the same shade of her newly purchased necklace. "Here," he said, grabbing her wrist suddenly and turning it sharply. He dropped the ring into her open palm.

From the moment the ring made contact with her skin, Lydia gasped with pain, jerking her hand to throw the ring off it. She looked down at her hand in horror to find a perfect circle burned into her flesh. She started to make some kind of excuse or apology to the shop keeper, but the cruel smirk on his face killed any word she had been about to say.

"So you _are_ the ones he wants. I knew it. Filthy half-breeds!" The shop keeper said, licking his lips and rising to his feet, his hand going to his waistband where Lydia saw the smooth wooden shaft of a wand.

She grabbed Remus' t-shirt and broke into a sprint. He looked confused. "Remus, run!" She yelled desperately, half to make him hear her and half to try to show her distress to the passers-by, but no one heard her nor did they pay any attention in the bustle and noise of the crowd. He obeyed, immediately leaving the books to follow, but he was too late. There was a short flash of red light, and he crumpled to the ground unconscious, his head hitting the concrete with a _crack_ and a dark red stain spreading though his splayed sandy hair.

"Remus!" She cried, standing on the edge of the crowd, unsure whether to stay with him or to go and save herself.

The man slipped around the tables, holding his wand at his waist as a threat, but so that she alone would see. He crouched beside Remus' prone form, pressing the wand into Remus' neck. "Come back, or he dies."

The choice obsolete, Lydia reluctantly walked towards the man, glaring at him hatefully. She cursed the fact that she had not brought her wand, as she groped vainly in her jeans pocket. "What do you want with us?"

The man didn't answer her, instead he just sneered evilly again, looking past her.

A voice came from behind her, accompanied by the sharp prick of a wand being pressed into her back. "I think the real question is what _I_ want with you, werewolf."

Lydia felt a jolt of energy in the small of her back, and lapsed into unconsciousness.


	8. Not To Be Refused

A/N: Surprise! I figured since it'll be such a long time until I can update next, you might like an extra chapter now... hope you enjoy?

Also, people, reviews are looking a little thin on the ground... you get cyber cookies for adding to their number!

* * *

"Wake up, werewolf." A voice spat in Lydia's ear, drawing her from the haze of sleep. She groaned, and tried to sit up, her memory fuzzy. A hard bite of metal in her wrists brought her back to reality and her eyes snapped open. She found herself staring straight into the watery grey eyes of the shop owner, an animalistic grin on his face.

"Where am I?" She asked drowsily, trying not to appear afraid. "Where's Remus?"

"I wouldn't worry about him, we are taking good care of your _mate_. We gave him his shots and everything- how long does it take for a monster like you to die of intravenous silver poisoning?" The man smiled wickedly, his tongue flicking out over his yellow teeth. Lydia felt herself cease breathing.

"No," She uttered, barely audible even so close to her captor, but nonetheless he heard her and grinned all the more.

"Yes." He replied savagely, pulling a thin glass syringe for inside his jacket. It glinted a cruel silver in the sparse light of the room, and Lydia winced away from the shine before realising what it meant. Her heart rate shot up and she struggled against her bonds, trying to escape the sharp point of the needle. Regardless, she felt it first shallowly slice her skin and then plunge in about an inch, straight into a vein in her inner elbow. The shop owner gritted his teeth in another mockery of a smile and depressed the plunger, forcing the condensed silver nitrate into her bloodstream before pulling out the tip of the syringe and releasing the girl.

Lydia lay on the ground, shaking violently and breathing shallowly. She could feel to silver coursing through her already, like liquid fire, attempting to invade every cell in her body. The man leant over her leering wickedly. "I think it is time you meet someone, wolfgirl."

Powerless to resist, Lydia watched as the man unlocked the manacles encasing her wrists and took hold of a handful of her red hair, jerking the strands taught to the point of pain away from her scalp. She tried to get up, but her muscles wouldn't obey her other than to twitch uselessly. The man began to walk towards a door Lydia had not noticed, dragging her behind her like a limp corpse.

After a few minutes of being scraped along hard, stone floor by her hair, Lydia was roughly tossed into another room. The ground rushed up towards her before she could even try to react, and she cracked her head against the floor. She lay there, not moving, feeling the poison invading her body, until her head was pulled unceremoniously up and she was forced to look into the eyes of her captor. The eyes she met were hard and cruel, tapering into wolfish points towards the bridge of his nose. Their irises were dark yellow, a perversion of the bright yellow that shone from Remus' in moments of passion, and they bored into her with a hunger that made her want to flee more than anything else she had seen since she had awoken in that place.

She forced her vocal chords into motion, her throat like sandpaper. "Who- Who are you?" She said at last, every breath an enormous effort.

The man flashed her a crocodile grin, full of sharp teeth. He shooed the shopkeeper away. "Avery, go. I want to talk to this one on her own."

Avery scuttled away, releasing Lydia, who fell back to the floor. The man's voice sounded above her dangerously. "Sit up and look at me."

Lydia pulled herself up shakily, and once again met the gaze of the man before her. "Who are you?" She asked again.

"Name's Fenrir Greyback. I'm the alpha of a werewolf pack." He said gruffly, searching her expression for a reaction. There was none.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"I have a proposition for you, _Lydia_. You and Remus."

"What... What is it?"

Greyback callously grabbed a chair and sat down on it, resting his head on his hands an eyeing her predatorily. "Join the pack. My pack. Be one of us."

Lydia looked at Greyback, taking in his grey-streaked, greasy hair, his cruel eyes, his claw-like nails and his animalistic teeth. She looked at the squalid room around them, with damp in every corner and traces of nameless substances smeared on the walls. She looked at the tattered and filthy old clothes that Greyback wore, and she recoiled. "No," She spat, summoning all her flagging strength in doing so.

"Shame. I guess you won't be wanting anything for that silver, then?" He said emotionlessly, extracting a pair of hypodermic needles from his pocket and holding them up to the dim light so that the light filtered through in a pacific blue onto Lydia's hand. Impulsively she reached for them.

"Please," She asked desperately, imploring Greyback with her eyes. "Don't do this."

"No, I don't. But I will. Our numbers are growing, the balance of power is shifting and soon all the wizarding world will regret casting us out. Blood is important to me, and to my master, Lord Voldemort, so I want my children by my side." Greyback spoke as though to a child, but the hungry gleam never left his eyes.

Lydia recoiled in distaste. "I'm no child to you."

"You are. You're part of my chain of infection- I'm practically your grandfather! Family should stand together, or the weaker parts should be cut off."

"You- You infected Remus? You're the one who bit him?" Lydia's voice rose to a fever pitch in her fury, but it did not seem to affect Greyback in any way.

He licked his lips. "The blood of a child; so sweet, so innocent. I still remember the taste," Greyback sighed. "He was meant to join us then, so I could raise him as a true werewolf. Your humanity makes you _weak_!" He snarled the last word, and in a single movement he was on his knees on the ground in front of Lydia, holding the front of her shirt so that her face was barely an inch from his. The putrescent smell of his breath was overpowering at so close a vicinity.

"Make your choice. Or you both die."

Desperately stalling for time, Lydia asked, "How did you find us?"

Greyback considered her a moment, an oddly human look passing over his face. "Your father told us about you. He told us where to find you, and Avery and Nott followed you to Camden. He wanted us to kill you," Greyback tilted his head to one side contemplatively. "Could still happen."

Acting on impulse, Lydia sucked in her breath and then smashed her mouth into Greyback's, simultaneously lunging into his pocket for the hypodermics. Unaffected, Greyback shoved her off and moved to pin her, but being smaller and pumped with adrenaline, Lydia rolled out from under his weight, ignoring the pain that flared in her every nerve-ending. Greyback growled and rolled, but as he did Lydia plunged a needle into his thick neck and slashed it down. Blood spurted from the wound and Greyback's eyes went wide in shock. He clawed his neck and sickening gurgling noises came from his mouth. Lydia didn't waste the moment, and savagely cracked his head against the floor. Greyback's scrabbling hands went still and his eyes rolled up in his skull. Lydia didn't know whether he was dead or simply unconscious but found she didn't care. She took his wand from his other pocket and left the room.

Avery was in the corridor outside, but as Lydia stunned him before he could even aim his wand at her. He crumpled to the floor, and Lydia snatched his wand from his slack grasp, deliberately stepping on his hand as she did so.

No other danger in sight, she took the needle she had injured Greyback with, and depressed it into the vein at her elbow. It was half-empty from the attack, but almost immediately she felt the poison's hold on her lessen. She checked the other needle, and found it miraculously unharmed. At a run, she made for a door the other side of the room and wrenched it open.

The other man from the assault in the market spun around at the sound of the door, and he was quicker than Avery. A beam of green light shot past Lydia, not an inch from her head, and hit the wall behind her.

"Stupefy!" She half-screamed and the red flash of the stunning spell hit the man squarely in the chest. She presumed this was Nott. He was thrown back against the damp stone wall and fell to the floor beside another prone figure.

"Remus!" She cried, rushing over to him and taking him in her arms.

"Lydia," He said quietly, smiling weakly. "Thank God you're safe." His skin was pale and drawn, and he sounded exhausted. Sure enough, Lydia quickly spotted the puncture mark on his arm where they had injected him with silver.

"It's okay, Rem, we're going to get out of here. Hold still, and take this." She handed him Avery's wand and tapped the second syringe clear of bubbles. Without hesitation, she injected the blue fluid and pulled the needle out. He winced, but smiled at her with renewed strength.

"Thank you,"

"Don't mention it," She told him, and pointed her wand at his handcuffs. "I'll get these,"

With both hands free, Lydia helped Remus to his feet and hugged him. Far too soon (Remus thought) she released him, and tugged him towards the door. "We need to go. There'll be more coming."

Suddenly, Remus yelled. "Lydia- _watch out!_" He pointed behind her. Lydia spun around, but her luck had run out, and a stunner hit her right in the forehead. Wasting no more time, Remus ducked and deliberately and determinedly thought of his destination as he twisted on the spot. With a crack, he disappeared.

The world swam back into focus, and once more Lydia found herself lying in a hospital bed. However, she was not in the school Hospital Wing this time. A man in his mid-forties with dark brown hair and wearing lime green robes leant over her, smiling widely.

"Oh good, you're awake! I was worried we were too late administering the copper sulphide solution- you were very lucky, young lady!" The Healer smiled warmly, patting Lydia on the shoulder.

"Where's Remus?" She asked, memories of Greyback and Avery coming back to her. "Is he okay?"

"Mister Lupin? He's fine. The shot you gave him flushed the silver from his system- you didn't quite get enough. It's a good thing you know such a sensible young man to bring you here. He did splinch himself nastily, but we've patched him back up, no trouble."

"Can I see him? Please?" Lydia tried to sit up, but the Healer pushed her back down with a gentle but firm hand.

"I'm afraid not. He's speaking to the authorities now, telling them about what happened to you both." The Healer paused thoughtfully for a moment. "I expect that they'll want you to make a statement too," He pursed his lips in annoyance.

"How long have I been here?" Lydia asked, feeling a certain sense of déjà vu and thinking back to a similar time when she had woken up in the hospital wing not two months before, looking for similar answers.

"Only through the night. We needed to keep you in, in case the silver sent you into a coma." The man shook his head sadly. "To think that people, in this day and age, could carry out such a horrific attack on _children_- it's disgusting."

"We're just monsters to them," She replied, diverting her eyes.

"Exactly! It's disgusting. My name's Kyle, by the way." The Healer extended his hand to Lydia, who took it, feeling a little awkward. "I looked after Remus when he was first infected."

"Oh!" Lydia exclaimed, but could not think of anything else to say. Luckily for her, the Kyle continued.

"It was a terrible thing, that. The poor boy was brought in handcuffed by the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, just seven years old. There was blood all over him! I had to fight tooth and nail with the ministry not to have him _put down_, like an animal! The laws have changed some now, thank god, but the treatment of lycanthropy sufferers by our own government is abominable," Kyle fumed, his eyes bright. Lydia felt a rush of respect for this man, though she had barely met him.

"Listen to me, ranting on at you!" He interrupted himself, shaking his head. "You need your rest. There should be a couple of books in the bedside cabinet next to you, and you call me if you need anything, okay?"

Lydia nodded. "When Remus comes back, could you tell me? I'd really like to see him."

Kyle smiled. "Of course. I'm so happy he's found someone, at last." And with that, he walked off to attend the other patients in the ward.

Lydia leant over the side of her bed and pulled a book out of the cabinet. She settled into her pillows, reading it but not really paying attention, simply trying to pass the time. About an hour later, the door opened, and she heard a hushed but deliciously familiar voice. Lydia poked her head up over her book, and saw Remus talking to Kyle, who nodded in her direction. He caught her eye and winked, and Lydia smiled in return. She noticed an already fading scar down his cheek bone, and another between his fingers.

Remus walked over, and sat down beside her bed. "Hey, Lyd. How're you doing?"

"I'm alright, what about you? You're the one that splinched yourself! How did it go with the Ministry?"

Remus' smiled slipped, and his eyes clouded. "They didn't take it seriously. Why would they? It's not like the word of a teenage werewolf means much to them anyway. Not me, especially- they can't wait to talk to you. Kyle's been keeping them out, but he'll have to let them in eventually. What _did_ happen, anyway? You never did get time to tell me anything."

Lydia sighed. "It was Fenrir Greyback. He was behind it. He's in league with Voldemort, and he wanted us to join his 'pack'." Remus sucked in a sharp breath, and his hand went, seemingly of its own accord, to the old wound on his thigh. "He told me that he'd let the silver kill us if I refused, but I stabbed him with the syringe and stunned Avery. Then I came and got you, and you brought us here. End of."

Remus nodded, and contemplated this latest information. "Right. This is worse than I thought- we're going to have to lie low for a while. We'd better go back to school, soon."

Lydia was reminded horribly of her mother, who would have to spend the coming months alone, again. It brought another thought to the surface. "What about my mum? Does she know what's happened?"

Remus bowed his head. "The Ministry's contacting our parents. They'll come in and collect us soon- Kyle's only not discharged you to keep you away from the Ministry."

Lydia shook her head. "There's no need. I'll talk to them- they need to know what's going on."

Remus took one look at the determination in Lydia's eyes and the set of her jaw, and nodded resignedly. "I'll tell Kyle to send them in. Do you want me to leave?"

Lydia slapped his forearm playfully. "Don't be ridiculous! I'll need _you_ for moral support!"

"Fine, fine, no need to _hit_ me!" Remus smirked, and got up. Before he went to speak to Kyle, he planted a quick kiss on Lydia's forehead, and squeezed her hand. "You're brilliant." He told her, and walked over to the Healer. An indignant look passed across Kyle's face, but after Remus explained the situation to him in a hushed tone, he nodded and left the room. He returned a moment later with two other men in tow, each clad in rather severe black robes. They made a beeline for Lydia's bed, and Remus weaved around them, and quickly planted himself on the chair next to Lydia's bed, taking her hand in his.

One of the Ministry men took a notepad and a pen from his pocket, and stood poised to write. The other approached her bedside, and conjured a chair. He sat down on it, his hands clasped between his knees. "Miss Neeson, we would like to take a statement about what happened, if we may." He addressed her, without emotion. It certainly did not sound as though they would take no for an answer.

"Okay," Lydia replied nonetheless, and propped herself up against her pillows.

The man gave a nod to the man acting as scribe and then turned back to Lydia. "What is your full name?"

"Lydia Mary Neeson,"

"Date of birth?"

"May thirteenth, 1960. I'm sixteen," Lydia gave the inspector a warm smile, but he paid it no heed and did not return it.

"Parents' names and blood statuses?"

"'_Blood_ status'?" Lydia questioned incredulously, and finally the man looked her in the eye.

"With the frequency of these 'Voldemort' attacks going up, it's something we have to take into consideration." He told her sincerely.

Lydia nodded, worry invading her thoughts. As though he sensed this, Remus gave her hand a comforting squeeze, and Lydia continued. "My mother's maiden name is Mary Vera Stevenage, and she's muggleborn. My father is a half-blood and his name is Harold Neeson, but the attack wouldn't have been against him."

"Why not?" The man asked, abandoning the set list of questions.

Lydia drew in a breath. "Because he's the one who told them where to find us. He wanted them to kill us."

"Wanted _who_ to kill you?"

"Fenrir Greyback, and his pack. They're working for Voldemort." Lydia bowed her head. "He said he'd kill us if we didn't join."

"And did you?" The man asked with urgency, and Lydia looked up in confusion. "Join them?"

"No!" She exclaimed, offended, but her anger faded when she saw the frightened look on the man's face. _This_, she thought, _is someone who has suffered under Voldemort already._ "No. I refused."

"Right. Okay, so would you please describe the events for yesterday afternoon, as you remember them, starting from when you left your parents' care outside Camden Loch Market."

Lydia paused, not really wanting to look back. "We went into the market at about one o'clock, and looked at some of the stalls. We stopped at a bazaar. The owner- his name was Avery- burned me with a silver ring, then he and another man I think was called Nott stunned us while we tried to escape. I woke up in a stone-walled room with manacles on my wrists. Avery injected me with silver nitrate, and took off the manacles. He took me to another room, where Greyback was and Greyback made him leave. Greyback told me that if me and Remus didn't join, he wouldn't give us the antidote for the silver and he'd let us die. He also said that he was working under Voldemort and their numbers were increasing. I... distracted him," Lydia carefully avoided detailing the 'kiss' with Greyback for her own modesty. "And I took the syringes. I stabbed him in the throat with one, but I don't think I killed him, and banged his head on the floor. I took his wand, and stunned Avery as I left the room, then I injected myself with one of the needles."

"Which one?" The man interrupted.

"Greyback's. Some of it was gone, so I had to be brought here. After I'd injected it, I went into the next room, and stunned the man in there too, and found Remus. I injected him with the other and freed his hands. Then I got stunned, and Remus brought me here. That's all I remember." Lydia cast her gaze down while the other man continued to scribble furiously.

Finally, the man spoke again. "Right. Thank you for your statement, Miss Neeson, it will be of great use to the investigation. Tapp?" He motioned to the exit, and the man named tapped tucked away the notepad and the two men left.

When they were gone, Lydia turned to Remus. "They believed me!"

"They had no choice. They're running scared Lyd- this kind of thing keeps happening, and they don't know what to do. This is the first time in history there've been attacks of this frequency, and they have no idea who's really behind it." Remus gave a bitter laugh. "This is the first time the wizards have wanted us monsters on their side."

Lydia ran a gentle finger down the scar between Remus' fingers, and looked up at him fiercely. "Then we fight, because I won't be like Greyback."

Remus nodded. "Like we have a choice."


	9. An Inconvenient Truth

A/N: So, my school has finally seen sense enough to let me on to (if only for 10 mins a day), which means I can update :D And also means I had beeter get writing again before I run out of chapters to give you! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Oh!

That's the other thing; this story has rather a large number of subscriptions now, and a shockingly small number of reviews. I haven't written anything new for this story in well over a year, and whilst it is nice to see that there is interest... I'm a vain being :P If you want to chapters to come a little faster, reviewing might help :)

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Lydia hugged her mother tightly, feeling her shoulder becoming damp with the older woman's tears. She kissed Mary Neeson's hair and whispered in her ear.

"I'll be fine, mum. Dumbledore will keep us safe- he always does. You just look after yourself."

Mary Neeson sobbed violently, clutching the back of her daughter's shirt as though she would never let go. "I just can't believe anyone would do such an awful thing to two such lovely children, and that your father would encourage that. I- I always knew he was... well, we had our differences in views, but... this! I hope they find him, and lock him away. And that _Greyback_ man!"

"They will mum, just... give them time." Lydia assured her mother, patting her back comfortingly.

"It's not right! I should be looking after you, not just handing you over to the school!" Mary Neeson said, clenching her fists in anger that was more frustration than anything that she was unable to help her daughter.

Lydia should her head. "It's the best place for me to be, mum, you know that. Look, Professor Dumbledore will be here any minute, you can talk to him about it."

Mary sniffed. "It is good of him to come all the way here to collect you. That's how a headmaster should act! Dippet would never have gone to the lengths Dumbledore has to safeguard his students and the school in my day."

Lydia smiled, glad that her mother couldn't see as she rolled her eyes. "Exactly. He's a good man, mum- trust him."

Lydia's mother nodded, and stepped away from her daughter. She wiped the tears away from her eyes with the back of her hand and stood tall, biting the inside of her lip. She looked her daughter up and down with critical eyes. "You've grown, dear."

Lydia looked down at herself. "I suppose I have. Remus said I would- the werewolf gene triggers a growth spurt, apparently."

"How queer," Her mother remarked. "You just owl me anything you need resized, and I'll send it right back."

Lydia rolled her eyes. "Mum, I am quite capable of doing that myself, thanks. Anyway, you know you mustn't stay at home, in case dad comes back. Gorgon mightn't be able to find you."

Her mother shook her head, and Lydia saw fresh tears forming in her eyes at the thought of what her husband could do. _They did love each other, once,_ Lydia remembered, _How far they have fallen._

"Gorgon would find me- owls have a way of doing that- but you're right, and I'm sorry. You're not a child anymore, and I shouldn't treat you like one, but..." She broke off, biting back tears. "But I feel like I'm losing you! When you first started growing up and not needing me anymore, that was hard enough, but now _this_! And don't misunderstand, dear, I still love you and I understand the reasons but... I just don't feel like you're mine anymore, not completely. I'm sorry." Mary Neeson bowed her head, silvery tears streaking down her cheeks for the umpteenth time that day.

Lydia put her arm around her mother's shoulders again, and pulled her into another hug. "It's okay, mum, I know. I know. We can get through this, though. I still love you- we'll be fine."

Mary sniffed and held her breath until her sobbing subsided, then tugged a handkerchief from her pocket to wipe her eyes. "You just make sure you and Remus are safe. For me."

"Okay, mum." Lydia replied, looking out onto the street. She glanced at her watch, which told her that it was quarter past nine. "He should be here by now," She said, frowning.

As if to prove her wrong, a resounding _crack!_ echoed through the street, and a tall man with flowing white hair appeared, not two meters from where the mother and her daughter were standing. The elderly man turned around to face them, a wide smile breaking out across his lined face.

"Mrs Neeson! Lydia! Nice to see that you are well," His blue eyes twinkled behind his half-moon glasses, and Lydia got the uneasy impression that any cheery aura he exuded was entirely a facade.

"As well as we could be under the circumstances, Headmaster." Mary Neeson replied, her face sincere.

"Indeed," Dumbledore agreed, before turning to Lydia. "Shall we depart, dear?"

"Alright," Lydia answered, picking up her suitcase. She kissed her mother briefly on the cheek. "I'll see you soon, 'kay?"

"Make sure you do, and have hopefully have a better rest of the year."

"Okay, mum. See you!" Dumbledore held out his arm and Lydia, already far too accustomed to the ways of side-along apparation, took it.

Lydia didn't bother to knock as she practically collapsed through the door of her shared dormitory, dropping her suitcase at the end of her bed as soon as she could. She flopped down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Nessa looked up from the book she was reading. "Are you alright?"

"Too... many steps... in this... bloody castle," Lydia told her in between breaths, offering a small smile to her roommate.

"Right. So, uh, how come you're back so early? It's not even been Christmas yet," Nessa asked, looking searchingly at Lydia. Lydia felt a sinking feeling at the suspicion in her eyes, but assured herself that there was no way Nessa could have any idea what was going on (_Yet,_ a voice in the back of her mind remind her nastily) with the few scattered hints and pieces of information available to her, even if she was a gossiper. Lydia would be safe from her, for now.

"Oh, yeah. Well, my mum and dad split up and I just didn't want to be at home with all that... atmosphere, you know?" Lydia hoped this was a sufficient answer, but added to it for good measure. "It would hardly be Christmas after that, anyway."

Nessa shrugged. "True. Hey, if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm right here. My dad died when I was nine, so I kind of know what you're going through. Just... yeah, talk to me."

Slightly taken aback by this rare show of compassion; Lydia nodded dumbly. Eventually mustered the courage to reply. "Thank you, Nessa."

"Don't mention it," She said, turning back to her book.

Lydia watched her roommate warily for a moment before beginning the tedious process of unpacking her things. Once she was done with her clothes, she re-discovered the bottom of her trunk, which was strewn with all manner of abandoned things. She fished out four random chess pieces, a make up brush and an old letter from Remus, and shoved them into the battered beside cabinet she had had the house elves bring up for her. Whilst rummaging though the detritus, her fingers chanced upon a smooth, cool surface, and when the tugged it free she fond that she was holding the necklace Remus had bought for her in Camden, not ten minutes before they had been kidnapped. Without thinking, she slung it around her neck and went to look at it in the bathroom mirror.

_Remus was right_, she mused, staring intently at her reflection. _It does go with my eyes._

"What's that?" Nessa appeared behind her in the mirror, peeking over her shoulder.

"Remus bought it for me." She said simply, keeping the conversation carefully closed. It worked.

Nessa nodded, rolling her eyes slightly with barely masked jealousy. "Oh, right." She returned to her bed and carried on reading.

Lydia lingered in front of the mirror for a moment longer, and then decided she would follow Nessa's example. However, when she looked on her bedside table, she discovered it to be strangely empty. She could have sworn she had a relatively large pile of books accumulating there before the holiday.

"Um, Nessa? Where have all my books gone?"

Nessa looked blank, and then comprehension dawned on her face as though a light bulb had gone on above her head. "Oh yeah! The librarian got the house elves to do a cull on all overdue books, which apparently was all of yours."

"Oh. Great." Lydia deadpanned. "Right, I'm going to the library then. I'll see you later."

"Sure, bye." Nessa replied without looking up.

Lydia got to the doorframe and then stopped, a question that had to be answered on the tip of her tongue. "Nessa, if you don't mind me asking, what happened to your dad?"

Nessa sighed, deliberately avoiding eye contact. "He was killed," She paused, reluctant to complete her sentence, "by a werewolf."

Lydia stepped into the library about ten minutes later, still feeling shaken from Nessa's revelation. She quickly found her regular haunt in the small fiction section of the large room, and started browsing.

"Hey, you."

Lydia spun around, right into Remus' chest, and blushed. "Sorry,"

Remus chuckled quietly, "No worries- Madame LeFeurvre take your books too?"

"Uh-huh," Lydia nodded, grinning. "That's why I'm here!"

"Shocking. I never would have guessed _that_!" Remus said with good-natured sarcasm. His eyes then settled on the pendant. "Hey, you're wearing it," He said, obviously pleased.

Lydia smiled, looking into his eyes. "How could I not? It's beautiful."

Remus leant in close to her to whisper in her ear. "Not as beautiful as you,"

Lydia blushed and gave him a playful shove. "I bet you say that to every girl!"

"There will never be anyone like you, Lyd. Ever." Remus told her, cupping her face and gently planting a kiss on her lips. Filled with a sudden, insatiable hunger, Lydia tangled her hands in his hair, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. Remus moaned softly, toying with her lip between his teeth stroking the soft vulnerable skin of her abdomen.

Abruptly, he pulled back, breathing slightly heavier than before and reaching for his wand.

"What's the matter?" Lydia asked, immediately worried that she had done something wrong.

Remus shook his head, trembling slightly. "It's nothing, just... one sec," He pulled out his wand and pointed it towards the ceiling. "_Muffilatio_," he whispered, seemingly to no result.

"What was that?" Lydia asked nervously.

"Just something Sirius taught me- no one will notice... little noises... now." Remus blushed, immediately feeling both stupid and impetuous, but Lydia simply smiled.

"That's good," She said, knocking him back into an armchair and kissing him passionately. Remus' hands slid under the thin film of her shirt and skittered across her back audaciously as he let his instincts take hold, for once. Lydia, too, was letting go of her inhibitions, which was becoming easier and easier to do, she found, and she roughly tugged away his woollen jumper, breaking the kiss only to pull it free of his head. The dark green garment dropped to the floor, completely unheeded. Lydia flattened her palms against his naked chest, her heart beating like a drum and her senses on fire. He clutched her burning skin, holding her to him as though he would never let her go, pressing their pelvises together through their ' searching fingertips found the clasp of her bra and opened it as Lydia bit into the warm flesh of his shoulder. Remus' skin broke under the pressure of her teeth, their points sharper and more closely tapered with animalistic passion, and hot, sweet blood seeped into her mouth, like melted chocolate.

With a gasp of pain, Remus disengaged his hands, and forced her away, pushing her so hard that she fell to the floor. Lydia sat there, stunned and breathing heavily, for what felt like an age; she was sickeningly aware of the fetid taste in her mouth and her own shock and shame. Her eyes glowed bright yellow, not unlike Greyback's when he had leant over her and told her that he was going to kill her.

Remus too was breathing hard, clenching his fists on his lap and trying to stop his rampant thoughts from taking control again. His nails cut into the palms of his hands, drawing blood once more and giving his mind more clarity. He grabbed his jumper from the floor and clutched it to his stomach, staring at a spot on the floor and pointedly not at Lydia.

"This isn't right," He said finally, not looking up. "We're going to kill each other."

"No!" Lydia exclaimed, sitting up and putting her hand on his knee. He shrugged it off, his eyes haunted. "This is natural! I mean, we're teenagers- this is what we're supposed to do. And, I mean, yeah, we both got a little caught up in the moment but after all we've been through... we need this. We need... each other."

Remus looked up at her, his expression grave. "Lydia, a moment ago I wanted to do two things: I wanted to fuck you, and then I wanted to kill you, and I know you wanted the same. How can you call that _natural_?"

Lydia took a sharp intake of breath, and blinked away a tear, knotting her fists in the material of her trousers. "This is what we are, Rem. This is what you made me. This is as natural as we are ever going to get."

Remus held her gaze for a moment, biting his lip, before looking down. "Shit. I'm sorry, Lydia, this is all my fault."

"We've been over this," Lydia began, in an almost bored tone.

"Yes, Lydia, we have!" Remus spat, his hands shaking and his lips drawn back from his teeth in a wolfish snarl. "And you still don't get it! I'm no good for you, and do you know something? _You're not good for me!_"

With that sentiment, Remus stormed away, pulling on his shirt angrily as he left and muttering the counter-spell to the charm on the room.

Lydia remained on the floor, frozen with shock. With a trembling hand, she wiped Remus' still-wet blood off of her lips and the tears that were running freely down her face. Inside, she felt as though she were breaking, and there wasn't a thing any one could do. No one, save for Remus, but he didn't want her anymore. Remus, the first boy she had ever loved; Remus, the werewolf who had given her this curse; Remus, the only person who would ever make her whole again.

But he was gone, and Lydia did not believe that he would ever be coming back.


	10. Reconcilliations

**Author's Note:** Update time! I just reread the next chapter to follow this and was left with the vague urge to scratch my eyes out, so I'm going to be rewrite it completely. Because I can't quite bring myself to publish it other wise so… *cue shameless plug for reviews* I would feel greatly encouraged to do so if you leave a liiiiiittle comment in the box for me? You guys were so awesome reviewing last time and it's really inspired me to get back into this story, and it would really help if you did it again!

*offers cyber cookies*

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Lydia kept her head low, leaning over the table and scratching meticulously at her parchment. Not looking up. She kept her mind concentrated on the uses of dragon's blood in modern day potion-making and blotted out every other thought. She'd gotten good at that over the last week.

As if her own body was conspiring against her, she couldn't help but pick up a muttered conversation the other side of the study hall, spoken by the person whose voice she both most and least wanted to hear.

"Look, I don't know James, just... leave it. I don't want to talk about this."

James gave an exasperated sigh. "Remus, you can't just keep ignoring her. Full moon is _tonight_ and you two haven't said a word to each other in a week. What if you attack each other? What if one of you _dies_, Moony? Did you think about that?"

Remus hissed a response. "Of course I've thought about that! But James, you don't see- this isn't just some couples' _tiff_; we can't just say sorry and pretend everything's alright, because it isn't. It can't be." The tinge of regret on the edge of his soft voice brought tears to Lydia's eyes. They raced down her cheeks, falling on the parchment and blotting the ink silently and she swallowed a sob.

_I won't let him see me crying!_ She told herself savagely, biting her lip hard enough to draw blood and listening to the conversation, all hope of solely concentrating on the essay abandoned.

"I don't get you, Rem." James stated in a hushed voice, scratching idly at his parchment. "Last week you wouldn't stop talking about how much you loved her and now you won't even say her name- what happened between you two?"

"James, I _don't want to talk about it_." Remus told him, stabbing violently at his parchment with the tip of his quill.

"Well, you need to Moony; if not to me, to Lydia. She misses you, can't you see that? This is killing her, and don't try and pretend it doesn't hurt you too."

Lydia heard Remus give a sad sigh. "I know. I know."

"So talk to her. Go for a walk and sort it out, 'kay?"

Under the haze of her hair, Lydia saw Remus give a small nod before returning to his work. She felt a strange combination of mingled joy and fear rising in her throat. What on earth could she say to him to make this right? 'I'm sorry, it won't happen again'? Somehow she didn't think that was going to cut it.

She kept writing her essay, pretending not to have heard a thing, and listened intently for signs of movement. For a time, she didn't hear any, and then eventually there was a scuffle of feet as James packed up his things and left the study hall, nodding to McGonagall who stood sentry by the exit. It had been her idea for the pupils who remained at school to do an hour of supervised study on a Sunday afternoon, and everyone regarded her with a degree of hate for it.

Less than five minutes later, she heard another movement, and felt a warm hand on her elbow. The touch sent a shiver through her skin. "We need to talk," A voice whispered in her ear.

_I thought you'd never ask_, her mind replied.

There was a thin film of crisp frost on the grass, creating the illusion of snow across the castle grounds. The ice crunched under Lydia's feet, and she was somewhat surprised to realise that the cold did not affect her. She guessed it was just another of the changes she'd have to get used to.

About a quarter mile from the castle, Remus stopped in his tracks and stood still; a sad angel in the wintry scene, low mist swirling around his ankles. "Lydia," He said, his voice shaking slightly as he said her name.

"Remus," She replied, relishing the sound. "I'm sorry."

Remus looked at her straight on, his eyes yellow with pain and tears gathering in their depths. "No, don't. I should never have said those things- it wasn't fair on you. I was scared- of myself, not you."

Lydia tentatively took his hand, which, she noted, was trembling. "We're all scared Remus, but that's okay. No one can be brave all the time."

"I wish I could be brave _some_ of the time, though, Lyd. I'm supposed to be a Gryffindor for fuck's sake! I can't even handle myself,"

Grasping a sudden instinct, Lydia's hand whipped through the air and contacted with Remus' cheek, slightly harder than she had intended. His head snapped around, and his hand flew up to his cheek, already tinged red.

"Stop it, Remus! Don't you _dare_ talk like that!" Lydia all but shouted at him, feeling righteous anger bubble up inside her. "Don't you _dare _dismiss yourself like you don't matter! You think you're some kind of coward- what coward would go through what we're going to go through tonight for eight years? What coward would face my parents, knowing what you had to tell them? How could a coward come with me now, and talk to me, even though you've been avoiding me for weeks? None, Remus- you are not a coward. You are one of the bravest people I know and _I love you_- why can't you see that? Whatever this is, we can work through it, we can sort it out and we can be together, as long as you love me too."

Lydia fell silent after her outburst, unwaveringly keeping eye contact with Remus. He was the first to break, though, turning his head away and staring at the ground.

"I do." He said simply. "I do love you too, I'm just... I wish I could promise that I'll never hurt you, and I can't, as has already been proven, and that kills me. You deserve so much better."

"Maybe," Lydia said, nodding, to Remus' undisguised dismay. "But all I want is you, Rem."

With that, she grabbed his collar and pulled him too her, planting a kiss on his lips. This kiss was soft, completely unlike their last, and didn't even come within reach of the boundaries they had gone beyond before. Remus gently wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up off of the ground and spinning her around in the cold mist. She smiled into the kiss, loving the feel of the cool air in her hair though not as much as Remus' touch on her skin.

Whilst spinning, Remus' foot caught on a stone, and both he and Lydia were sent tumbling to the ground, laughing and holding hands happily. They lay on the wet grass, staring up at the sky.

"Hey, look- it's snowing!" Lydia exclaimed, pointing up at the white sky with her free hand.

Remus looked. "So it is," He turned to Lydia and wiped a flake out of her hair with his fingertip. She smiled.

"I love the snow; it's so clean and pure. Just... falling. I love it." Lydia said with an almost dreamlike tone.

"And cold," Remus added ruefully.

Lydia rolled onto one side to look at him critically. "You're not honestly cold, are you?"

"Well we are lying in the grass, in Scotland, in winter, and it's snowing. I don't think I can be blamed for not being toasty, somehow."

Lydia frowned. "But... I'm fine,"

"Lucky you," Remus smiled, bridging the gap between them and kissing her with a quiet passion. After a moment, he broke away from the contact and sat up, giving a small shiver as he did so.

Lydia did the same, pulling her coat around her. "Do you want to go back inside, then?"

"Please," He replied, and then pulled her to her feet. He linked an arm in hers, and led her back inside, stopping first to pick the snowflakes from her hair.

"Don't you think they are pretty?" Lydia asked, looking up at him with a small smile.

"Next to you, love, they might as well be specks of mud." He told her, kissing the top of her head tenderly.

Lydia shivered and pulled her coat tightly around herself to keep the cold at bay. If it hadn't affected her earlier, it was freezing now. She could feel her face turning pink with wind chill, and a misplaced thought drifted through her head that she was really going to clash with her hair. The sun's light was fading on the horizon as it slipped behind the mountains, and she could see the night had nearly come, hiding from the light like an army of darkness, with the moon as its commander.

The first time she had face the full moon, she hadn't been scared. This time, her thoughts were racing with horrible images of what could go wrong and it was not only the cold that she shivered from. Remus, sensing her fear, put his arm around her comfortingly.

"You'll be fine, ignore what I said before." He assured her.

"But what if I'm not, Rem? What if I hurt someone?" Lydia asked rhetorically as they made their way towards the willow. James, Sirius and Peter walked behind them, obliviously throwing snowballs at each other.

Remus gave a dry smile that did not reach his eyes, remembering that he had said almost the exact same thing to the marauders when they had announced that they would accompany him on full moons as animagi. "There is no way of escaping it, so don't think about it. They'll keep us in line, they always do."

"But this is only their second time dealing with two of us! Something could go wrong _so_ easily!"

Remus looked at her levelly. "And what do you suppose we do about it? Tell them to stay behind? They won't, and we'll just end up hurting each other more. This is the best way, trust them."

Lydia frowned, but nodded nonetheless. "Oh!" She exclaimed as something small and brown ran over her shoe. "What was that?"

Remus laughed. "Just Peter; he's going to freeze the knot."

Lydia watched as the brown rat scrabbled up the tree, to small to be struck down by its flailing branches, and alighted upon the thick knot in the middle of the tree. Immediately the Whomping Willow stopped moving and stood still, quickly becoming covered in a light sheen of snow.

"Come on," Remus said, tugging Lydia towards the tree. She reluctantly complied, and followed Remus into the tunnel between the swell of thick roots.

In the cool dark of the tunnel, her fear became more and more tangible, invading every recess of her mind and taking her over. Before they reached the door, Lydia stopped dead, holding Remus' sleeve. "No. I can't do this Rem."

Reus took her hand, and with the other hand he opened the door. "You have to Lydia; you don't have a choice." _I saw to that_, he added silently, but knew that this was not a time for self-pity. He ushered her inside, leaving the door for the others.

Lydia ran up the stairs and shut herself into the bedroom she had used the last full moon before Remus had even fully entered the house, not wanting anyone to see the tears of fear that were streaking down he face.

Remus knocked gently on her door. "Are you alright?" He asked softly, out of earshot from the marauders. "We've got about-"

"Half an hour, I know. I'm fine." Lydia interrupted, an edge on her voice.

Remus nodded needlessly, feeling the bite on her words. "Well, I'm going to go downstairs and talk to the others for a bit, okay?"

"Fine. I'll see you later," Lydia said, sitting down uneasily on the edge of the four poster bed and staring at the floor. She could feel the moon already, scratching incessantly at the base of her spine, and her senses were going haywire. No matter how hard she tried, she could not get herself comfortable- every spring on the bed seemed to stick into her, like she was sitting on drawing pins. She sighed, and lay on her side, waiting for the change to come.

Remus descended the stairs to the sitting room of the shack, where the marauders were all waiting, Peter clothed modestly in a blanket to hide his flesh.

"Is she okay?" James asked concernedly. Remus gave a heavy sigh, and sat down in the only free armchair.

"She's just worried. I think she was still in shock last time, but now she's starting to understand."

"Understanding is the first step towards acceptance," Peter piped up sagely.

Remus smiled. "Isn't that supposed to be the other way around?"

Peter frowned, and Sirius answered for him. "Same difference- she'll come around." Sirius gave a wide, doggish grin, his dark hair flopping into his eyes.

"I hope so," Remus said gravely, staring at his feet.

James, unable to contain himself any longer, was the next to speak. "You two are sorted then? What was the problem?"

Remus raised his head, looking James straight in the eye as he deliberated over how much he should reveal. It did not take him long to decide. He removed his jumper, ignoring the cold air on his skin, and inclined his head. He pointed at the dark stain on his skin where Lydia had bitten him, which was still not healed, and then skin around it was blotched purple and yellow.

James blanched. "Did _Lydia_ do that?" Remus nodded, pulling his jumper back on swiftly.

"Bloody hell, mate, and you thought _I_ was kinky!" Sirius laughed, the gravity of the matter escaping him entirely.

"What in Merlin's name are you on about?" Remus questioned, an eyebrow raised.

Sirius motioned to his own neck. "You were going on about how weird I was when that Kate girl gave me a couple, and then you show up with the mother of all love bites! Thou hypocrite!" Sirius joked.

Remus rolled his eyes. "You don't quite get it, do you Sirius? It's not just that- she bit me in the same place that I bit her, two months ago, when I cursed her. We were in the library and I..." Remus paused, uncomfortable about discussing this matter with his friends. As much as he trusted them, and appreciated what they did for him, he couldn't help but shy away from _this_ kind of talk. He knew it was stupid, considering what they saw of him every month, but he was still embarrassed to talk about his sex life with the marauders. "I wanted to take her, and then... and then I wanted to kill her."

Remus put his head in his hands, shaking.

The three boys' eyes went wide. Sirius was the first to respond. "Oh." He said. "Right. Um... okay. Well, I'm sure that's perfectly normal."

Remus simply looked at him sceptically, and Sirius shut up instantly.

"What Sirius means, Moony, is that it was probably a normal reaction for... for someone like you. I mean, it wasn't far from full moon, and you have been through a lot recently and you _are _obsessed with each other so it's not like something like that wasn't going to happen eventually, it just happened a bit quicker than either of you expected because of the... shock and er, stuff. Just, take it slower, and you'll be fine." James offered his friend a small smile, obviously quite embarrassed by his speech, which Remus returned.

"Thanks, James. I just hope you're right."

Silence fell upon the group as they seemed to consider what had been said, and Remus felt his thoughts closing in on him. Abruptly he stood up and cleared his throat. "I'm going to go upstairs and get ready- it's not long now."

"Okay, see you in a bit."

"Yeah, and I'll see you in the morning," Remus half-joked, ignoring an encroaching sense of dread, and went up the stairs.

Hearing footsteps on the landing, Lydia sat up. "Remus?"

"It's me," she heard him answer through the wood of the door.

"Good. I... I'm scared." She admitted, hanging her head.

Remus nodded to himself, his hand on the brass doorknob. "Can I come in?"

Lydia pulled the blanket she was using to shield herself from the cold tightly around herself, ensuring it covered all of her exposed flesh before answering. "Please do,"

Remus entered the room and did not hesitate to sit down beside her, putting his arm around her shoulders. She couldn't suppress a small wince as the contact irritated her delicate skin, and Remus relieved some of the pressure. "Everything is going to be fine,"

She didn't reply to that particular statement, preferring to skirt around her main worry. "It's not just that, I just... it hurt so much last time, and I hate not being in control, or able to remember. It's just scary."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

They sat in silence for another couple of minutes, feeling the moon's hold on them strengthen. The sky was entirely dark now, save for a smattering of tiny stars, as the sun had gone down but the moon was yet to rise. Lydia knew that as soon as that horribly beautiful orb of white peeked over the horizon, the change would begin and she dreaded it. She wished there was some way she could run, but knew that she would never escape it. She looked at Remus, whose eyes were closed in thought, and saw that he too was beginning to shake as the first throes of the transformation approached, his hand balled into a fist against the pain at her side. She could feel it too, burning down her back as though she were being cut by a flaming knife, and knew that the time had come again.

"You have to go," she told Remus hoarsely, and shrugged his arm off of her shoulders. "I'll see you in the morning."

Remus obediently got up, gave her hand a last squeeze and then returned to his room. He stripped off as quickly as he could, cursing as he fumbled with the buckle of his belt. He had left it far too late.

The first lash of change hit him before he could even get out of his jeans, and he fell to the floor, grunting, as his spine curved unnaturally, his heart beating like a drum. Wincing, he pulled his wand out of his pocket and blasted away the belt buckle before throwing the thin shaft of hazel into the corner of the room. He undid the button on his jeans as quickly as he could, his fingers growing clumsier as he lost more and more control of his actions. The effort of it was making him sweat, and he bit his lip, ignoring the blood that flowed from under his sharpened teeth. Finally, he managed to struggle free of his trousers, and they joined his wand and his jumper on the other side of the room.

Another wave of moonlight and another forced him to the ground again and he curled in on himself as if he could hide as his spine elongated and split his skin, coarse grey hairs breaking through his skin. He couldn't help but scream, and he heard Lydia as she did the same. Eventually, they both fell silent, but not because the pain had stopped. _No,_ Remus thought as his humanity drained agonisingly from his veins; _that would be far to kind for a curse_. The truth was that the quiet only descended because their vocal chords were breaking and reforming into a shape that could make only one true sound.

All across the globe, a chorus of lupine howls sounded, mournful and dangerous.


	11. Damning Consequences

**Author's Note:** And here we are... the end of my prewritten chapters. Luckily for you guys, I've somehow managed to time the publication of this with the start of my christmas holidays, so hopefully I'll be able to stick to schedule. However... I have important exams coming up in just over a month and I _am_ revising for them as well as everything else, so do not hate me if it's a little slow. Thanks so much to all you lovely people who've reviewed- you really give me inspiration to write and to continue writing! *cookies for you all* And there are more cookies where that came from...

* * *

Lydia ached all over. She was lying on her side on the floor, the cold wintry air chilling the room. She got up, and wrapped herself in a blanket to ward away to cold but could not stop herself from shuddering. As she took a step forward, she gasped at a sudden pain which flared in her side. Gingerly, she ran her hand lightly over where she felt the pain, and was not entirely surprised to see blood on her fingertips. She peeled away the blanket to get a better look at the wound and saw a deep gash dividing her midriff running from just below her armpit to her pelvis. She covered it again and tried not to think about it whilst checking the rest of her body for damage. There was a nasty looking cut on one side of her stomach, and another almost vertically down the centre of her chest. Wincing as the cuts stretched, she twisted to see her back, and found another wound- a bite-mark. There was another on her shin. She really hoped that one of the guys had bought some kind of healing salve, otherwise she was certain that she would scar. She carefully put on her underwear and went down the stairs, not bothering to be quiet. Much to her surprise, the guys were already awake, sitting on the sofas and chatting to each other, all fully dressed.

"Hey," She said softly, sitting down next to Remus.

Sirius nodded at her. "Hey Lunette- how're you doing?"

Lydia shrugged. "Okay, I guess. I'm a bit cut up, but I'm alright. You haven't got any salves or anything, have you?"

James tossed her a pot, which she caught deftly in one hand, her reflexes surprising her slightly. "Here, put this on."

Lydia opened the pot and put a little on the cream on her finger and was about to put it on when Remus grabbed the tub from her. "Leave it, I'll do that. It's my fault anyway."

Lydia rolled her eyes and lightly touched Remus' wrist. "Stop it, I bet you're just as bad. You need to stop over-reacting to this, because it's not going to stop. You told me that, Rem."

Remus looked away guiltily and Lydia seized the opportunity to lift up his shirt. Sure enough, his chest was scored with deep slashes, congealed blood at the edges of the wounds. She lay her small palm over the cuts and noticed with a lash of guilt that the marks mirrored her fingers exactly. She swallowed the guilt, though, not wanting to be a hypocrite. "See. I hurt you too, now can we get over this? I just want to put this salve stuff on so that I don't scar up, 'kay?" Lydia said frankly, raising her eyebrow at Remus.

Remus nodded. "You're right, as usual. Okay, let me see."

Lydia pulled back the folds of the blanket and let Remus rub the lotion into her skin. It tingled wherever his fingers touched, only partially from the cool salve. She closed her eyes, relishing his touch and picturing his perfect face.

"That's it, I'm done." Remus stated, setting the pot aside and wrapping his arms through hers and around her slim waist. He playfully kissed her neck and Lydia giggled before turning around to kiss him full on the mouth. Smiling into the kiss, he lay her back onto the arm of he sofa and deepened their kiss, running his hands through her transformation-and-sleep-tousled hair.

"Um, guys?" James interrupted, sounding slightly disgusted. "Please spare us- get a room."

Sirius scoffed. "You didn't have a problem last night, though, Prongs, did you?"

Lydia pushed Remus back more forcefully than she meant to, and he fell off of the sofa and onto the floor. Before he could question her, Lydia rounded on Sirius. "'Last night'? What the fuck happened 'last night', Sirius?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, trying to look innocent. "Well, you and Remus did your wolfy thing, snapped at each other and ran around for a few hours, then went back to your usual, sceptical, over-reacting selves and fell asleep. The end."

In a shot, Lydia was sitting on his chest with her hands at the scruff of his neck, her teeth bared in an animalistic snarl. "_What. Happened?_" Lydia growled, enunciating every word so that it was clearer than pure crystal.

"Okay, okay! Maybe some other stuff _did_ happen, but do you really want to know?" Sirius asked, as though there was only one possible answer.

Lydia, as usual, chose the wrong one. "_Yes_, I _do_."

Sirius sighed, looking away uncomfortably. Lydia became aware of Remus' presence behind her, watching over her shoulder. "Well, we tried to stop you, but c'mon- you're two almost full-grown werewolves and we're a stag, a rat and a big dog. There wasn't really much we could do to stop you once you set your minds to it."

"Set our minds to _what_, Sirius? _What the fuck happened?_"

"Whatever it is, Sirius, just say. It's better we know," Remus added, his hand reassuringly on Lydia's shoulder.

Sirius nodded, swallowing and breaking eye contact with the lot of them. James too cleared his throat and Lydia couldn't help but notice how quiet Peter was keeping in the conversation. "We couldn't stop you," He repeated, nervously.

"Just spit it out, Sirius," Lydia said venomously, not sure why she was angering so quickly.

"You fucked! I'm sorry, it's messed up, we couldn't help it, now will you get the fuck off me, Lydia!"

Lydia felt her breath catch in her throat, and Remus' hand tightened on her shoulder. "What?" She asked weakly, her hands dropping to her sides. "No."

"I'm sorry," Sirius said again, and wriggled out from under Lydia. He sat down beside James, who was shaking his head, and Peter.

"Oh my god!" Lydia hid her face, tears leaking out from under her eyelids.

Remus wrapped his arms around her, forcing away his own shock to comfort his girl. "It's okay, it's okay," He said over and over, rubbing her back. She pushed his arms away and pulled the blanket more tightly around herself.

"No! It wasn't supposed to be like this!" She shouted, backing into a corner. "It was supposed to be special."

Lydia slid her back down the wall and hugged her knees to her chest, crying into her red hair. It stuck to her face, but she didn't care. All she could think about were Sirius' words. She sat on the cold floor, feeling worthless and violated.

Remus shooed the others away, and they shuffled out into the kitchenette of the shack, leaving Remus and Lydia in privacy. He sat down on the floor beside her with a sigh, resting his head in his hands. "I'm sorry. Truly, I am, but like you said before, we weren't in control of our actions. It could have been worse,"

Lydia rounded on his, her blood-shot eyes boring into his, the shadow of the moon lingering in both pairs. "Was this your first time?" She demanded savagely, and when he didn't answer straight away, she slapped his cheek. "_Was it?_"

"No," Remus admitted, not looking her in the eye.

"Then don't tell me how to feel. Part of me was stolen last night, and I'm never going to get it back. Ever." More tears streaked from Lydia's eyes, falling onto her heaving chest. "It was meant to be special," she said again.

"I'm sorry," Remus told her, stroking her hair and pulling her into his embrace. She sobbed silently into his chest until her tear ducts ran dry, and then she simply lay her head against his chest, holding his hand while he twiddled his fingers through her hair.

"We can get though this," Remus said quietly. "We've gotten through worse."

Lydia nodded, a tiny sob escaping her. "I hope so. I'm going to go get changed," She muttered, shakily getting to her feet. She checked her blanket and climbed the stairs. When she was alone again in her bedroom, she perched on the side of her impromptu bed and covered her face with her hands, full of shame. Reluctantly, she dropped the blanket and put on her clothes from the night before. She checked her face in the cracked, age-spotted mirror and tried to arrange her hair. She practiced holding her head high and pretending nothing was wrong, she practiced the fake smile, feeling a little dead inside. Stupidly, she realised she felt more betrayed by this than Remus biting her and condemning her to life as a werewolf, and this caused a fresh wave of tears to wet her cheeks.

"Don't be pathetic," She told her reflection unforgivingly, wiping the tears from her face with unnecessary force. "Stop crying, and get a grip. It was bound to happen, you should have known that. It didn't mean anything. It didn't mean a thing."

She took a deep breath and dried her eyes with the corner of the blanket before opening the door again.

Remus was waiting for her on the other side, and before she could say anything he enveloped her in a crushing bear hug. It wasn't romantic, in anyway, but it was warm and comfortable and Lydia was reminded how safe she felt in his arms.

"Don't let go," She whispered into his shoulder, gripping him as tightly as he held her.

"Never," He confirmed, and kissed her lips gently, like a goodnight kiss. After a moment's pause, he added. "It'll still be special. It'll still be the first- for _us_. I love you."

Lydia didn't say anything, but stayed in his arms, holding him as though, if she were to let go, the world would end.

Morning, or at least, sunrise, dawned as Madame Pomfrey came to collect them. Sirius, James and Peter had already taken off, hoping to get back into their beds and catch a few more hours of sleep before they had to get up for lessons. The old matron ushered them up to the Hospital Wing to check them over, but dismissed them after applying fresh bandage to the deeper cuts and re-applying the salves, satisfied that they wouldn't drop dead in the middle of the day. As soon as she was done with them, Lydia and Remus escaped the oppressive _ill_ atmosphere. Remus seemed to be making a beeline for the student commons, which would be empty for the moment whilst the other students were in their lessons, but Lydia broke away as they passed the stairs up to the West Tower.

"I have to go and get clean- just changing clothes doesn't mean I'm ready for the new day. I'll see you in DaDA, okay?" Lydia said, one foot on the first step and her hand on the banister.

Remus looked a little put out, but nodded all the same. "Sure, I'll see you then."

Before he could go anywhere, Lydia planted a quick kiss on his lips, her hands gently cupping his face. She looked into his yellow eyes as though she could lose herself in them, and would never want to be found. "Thank you," She breathed, and then flitted up the stairs and out of sight, leaving Remus standing at the bottom, running his finger over the shadow of her kiss on his lips.

Lydia let herself into her dorm a moment later, and was surprised to find that there was someone already in there. "Nessa?" Lydia questioned, knotting her brow. "Shouldn't you be in lessons right now?"

"Shouldn't you?" The blonde girl countered, without a heartbeat's pause. "Where've you been all night?"

Lydia swallowed. "In the Hospital Wing; I threw up after dinner last night." Lydia lied quickly, pretty close to certain that the matron would back up her story.

Nessa cocked her head to one side without smiling, sitting up straight on her bed. "Funny, that, because _I_ had to go to the Hospital Wing too last night, and I didn't see you there. _What's going on, Lydia?_" Nessa demanded through gritted teeth. "What are you hiding?"

"Nothing!" Lydia said, unable to keep the trace of panic from her voice. "I just-"

"No, Lydia, 'you just' doesn't cut it. I _saw_ you going to the Whomping Willow last night with James, Sirius, Peter and Remus; I _saw_ you go inside, so don't try t lie to me because it won't work. Just tell me the truth, and if you do it right the first time I'll keep it to myself."

Nessa was standing now, her hands on her hips and her eyes challenging. _Prove me wrong_, her body language read, knowing that she was asking the impossible. Lydia sighed and sat down at the foot of her own bed in resignation.

"Okay," Lydia said simply, laying her palms flat on the bed and spreading her fingers, watching them instead of Nessa.

"'Okay' _what_?"

"'Okay', I'll tell you. The truth. You deserve that much, as my roommate, I guess."

Nessa sat down on the end of her bed, the mirror of Lydia, and waited for her to continue. It took less time to do so than Lydia would have thought- She must, she guessed, have been preparing herself for this eventuality all along, even if she hadn't known it. "I wasn't in the Hospital Wing last night, you're right; I was with Remus. And Sirius, and James, and Peter." She paused, fumbling over her next words. "We went inside the Willow, and through the tunnel at its base before the sun could set and the moon would rise, and you should be glad that we did, because, if I had stayed here, we would not even being having this conversation- we would both be dead."

Nessa frowned. "What do you mean, 'dead'? Is that some kind of threat?"

"No!" Lydia groaned, steeling her hands at her sides. "It's nothing like that. If anything, it's a warning- I'm not the same person I was on First Year, hell! I'm not the same person I was at the beginning of this. Everything about me has changed, you just haven't seen it. And the only person who truly, _truly_ understands is Remus."

"What does your perfect boyfriend have to do with _any_ of this?" Nessa asked venomously, her skin prickling in envy.

"Everything; he is what started all this, when-" Lydia choked off, not wanting to say the words. It felt like betraying everything, like ripping apart her life and dancing on the pieces. "When he bit me."

The line fell flat, and Nessa looked unimpressed. "Get to the point, Lydia."

Lydia stood up suddenly and took one stride towards Nessa. "That _is_ the point, Nessa!" In a single swift movement, she pulled down the shoulder of her top, baring the deep, still tender scar. She hadn't ever really looked at it until that point, and she saw what a savage wound it was- the crimson scar tissue formed at raised ring of flesh all the way around her shoulder, and it was punctuated by coin-sized dents of animal teeth. _Remus did that_, Lydia thought with horrible awareness. _Someday, I'll do the same to someone else_.

"Is that..." Nessa trailed off seemingly at a loss, "a werewolf bite?"

Lydia nodded. "It starts and ends with him." She pulled her top back into place to hide the scar, and sat back down, her hands between her knees.

"So that means..."

"I am too, now." Lydia did not look up as she said the words, focusing on the small movements of her thumbs as part of her entwined hands. "Is this where you run screaming and tell everyone that you room-share with a monster?"

Nessa paused, almost in consideration. "It probably should be, but no."

Lydia looked up, shocked. "Really? Why not?"

"I don't snitch," Nessa said simply, holding her head up proudly.

"But," Lydia couldn't believe what she was hearing, and so she questioned, not caring that she risked pushing this conditioned trust away. "You love good gossip,"

Nessa shook her head, as though Lydia had just made the most idiotic of all suggestions. "Surely even you know there is a difference between _'secrets'_," Nessa put air quotes around the word to show its falseness, "And secrets. This is the latter kind, and I won't tell. The thing is, you're still not telling me the whole thing."

Lydia furrowed her brow. "There's really nothing more to tell- nothing that you won't have learnt from Defence classes at any rate."

"No, that's not what I mean; I mean, when you came in here, the look on your face said 'help me, I'm in too deep', and I'm pretty certain that that's not the end of it. What happened last night Lydia, that I _don't_ already know about?"

Lydia sighed, feeling the conversation slip from the important to the realm of teenage gossip. "I had sex with Remus last night," She admitted, finally.

"Oh really?" Nessa cocked her head to one side in interest. "But, you would have transformed last night."

"Exactly."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

A silence spawned and festered in the air between them, spreading like a cancer and choking the conversation utterly. It was a few minutes before either of them dared speak, and Nessa was the first to find her tongue. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Lydia answered honestly, shaking her head a little and strands of red hair flopping over her face. "What can I do?"

Once more, words failed and Nessa pressed her lips together in a contemplative scowl. As a Ravenclaw, she was used to having an answer for anything and everything that came her way, and loathed to find herself at a loss. She too shook her head, letting a frustrated breath through her nose. "I guess," she said, sounding utterly unsatisfied with her answer, "you hope he still wants you."

As plans went, it didn't rank all that highly with Lydia.


End file.
